Category Archives: Relationships

THE TABLE by Deacon Dennis Lambert – a review by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Anxiety and Worry, Book Review, Church, Early Church Fathers, Eucharist, Family, Healing, Jewish roots, Marriage, Miracles, Relationships, Sacraments, Saints, The Holy Land

I actually purchased this book about a year and a half ago but due to selling one home, putting things in storage for 17 months and then moving in to a new home, I “lost” it and recently found it and read it.   What an interesting book!  I am so glad that I finally found it.  I believe you will be glad too when you find one and read it.

THE TABLE is a book that jumps back and forth from biblical times to modern times.  The link is a very special table that the grandfather of Jesus made as a result of a miracle.   It seems that blessings and miracles and peace seem to follow the table and those who own it.  I really don’t want to give you a complete synopsis of the book because there are a number of surprises in the book that I don’t want to spoil for you.  Suffice it to say that the table that Jesus’ grandfather made was not only a miracle in its time, but continued to bring miracles to people who struggled with everyday life.

I found the book to be difficult to put down.  It was intriguing on so many levels.  Deacon Lambert is a great writer who knows how to weave a great story.  The characters, whether they are from the biblical time, or from the modern time, are interesting, very human, and very likeable.  I especially liked how he portrayed Jesus and His family.  Some of the writing made me feel like I was reading an expanded Gospel that was written to fill in some of the details left out by the scriptures.  He did the same in writing about the early Church figures.  When reading about the biblical times, you actually felt like you were there.

The figures in the modern time were wonderful.  They were people that you could most definitely relate to.   Their fears and hurts and successes were ones that we too could have experienced.  In the midst of both tragedy and elation, the characters were so very human and believable.  I found myself rooting for them at the various parts of their life and tearing up for them at their difficult times.  This book certainly brought out many emotions for me.

This historical fiction provides not only great entertainment, but also serves as a way to grow spiritually.  It is a book for all people, but most certainly will speak very loudly to Catholics with its description of the mass and sacraments.  You cannot help but to read this book and see God at work in the lives of the characters and transfer that in to your own life.  God is very much alive and at work in this book.  I see it as a great gift for those who have fallen away from the faith.  They will find the book so interesting that they can’t put it down, and at the same time have their own spirituality awakened.  I believe that this is the first published book by Deacon Dennis Lambert.  I am anxiously awaiting another one by him.

One Beautiful Dream by Jennifer Fulwiler – review by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Anxiety and Worry, Book Review, Books, Church, Communication, Community, Converts, Ethics, Family, Marriage, Pro-Life, Relationships, Spirituality, Vocation, , ,

One Beautiful Dream by Jennifer Fulwiler – review by Deacon Marty McIndoe

When I heard that Jennifer Fulwiler had published a new book, I knew I had to have it and read it as soon as I could.  A few years ago, I read her book,” Something Other Than God”, and absolutely loved it.  She is a gifted writer and her second book continues to show how gifted she is.  I found it hard to put down, funny and thought provoking.  Her subtitle to this new book is The Rollicking Tale of Personal Passions, Family Chaos, and Saying Yes to Them Both.  The subtitle is a great description of her book.  It tells the story of her raising six children while trying to write a book.

For those of you who do not know Jennifer’s story, she is a former atheist whom God touched and led in to the Catholic Church.  You should read her first book “Something Other Than God” to find out this great story.  Jennifer is also a daily radio host on Sirius XM channel 129 as well as a noted speaker and columnist.  She also describes herself as “Mother of six with zero of the skills needed to manage a home”.  I would add that she is a gifted writer with an ability to describe life situations in ways that can only make you laugh, and sometimes cause you to shed a tear.

The beauty of her new book is that not only is it funny and interesting and hard to put down; it shows us all how it is possible to accomplish a sense of personal accomplishment in the midst of being a good, albeit struggling, parent.  I love what the book does for both men and women who find it hard to balance family life and work life.  It shows how you can incorporate both into personal satisfaction.  This book will definitely challenge any man or woman who puts work ahead of family.  However, it does show that a true balance can be made that will be very satisfying.

To be perfectly truthful, when I first started reading this book I thought it was mainly a book for women.  I even said that to my wife and told her that I knew she would enjoy it.  However, after reading the book for a while, I saw that it is for men and women.  Jennifer describes how her lifelong desire to write a book seemed to interfere with her sense that God was calling her to have a large family.  On many occasions her husband Joe was the needed instrument to help her learn to be able to do both.  At the same time Joe had to learn how to balance his work (and advancements) to fit in to their family life.  Personally I see Joe as a real hero in this story.  There is no doubt that Jennifer is the one who had to struggle and work so hard, but it was with Joe at her side and often encouraging her.  This book does so much to show what marriage and family life is supposed to be, even the messy parts of it.

The book also shows how Jennifer discovers that family is not just her and Joe and their six children, but extends to grandparents, great grandparents  and friends and neighbors and even to young girls ringing the door bell and running away (usually at the most inopportune times).  Jennifer learns that she can’t do everything by herself and it is then that family life begins to grow.  She learns how to involve her children in her writing career.  She also learns how to involve other family and friends in what she does.  In doing this she discovers that having a large family is a lot more than giving birth to many children.

I love how Jennifer is able to make us all laugh at some of the disheveled things that life throws at us.  I also like the way her faith comes forth without being preachy.  She shows herself in her weaknesses and in her strengths and we can’t help but to love her in both.  In an age where many couples have no children, or only one or two, this books delights us with the interactions of six children and the fulfillment they bring to their parents.  Jennifer is often confronted by friends and strangers for having such a large family.  I find this so sad.  Large families are a real gift that society doesn’t seem to appreciate any more.  Jennifer and Joe wanted a large family and God gave them one.  Jennifer and Joe use Natural Family Planning and Jennifer does a great job sharing how NFP has been a positive influence on their marriage.  This book certainly shows us how two people, working together in the gift of marriage, can find both personal fulfillment and family fulfillment.   There is no doubt that this is a book that I would highly recommend reading.  It is printed by Zondervan.  I bought my copy on Amazon Prime.

POWER – by A.J. Avila

Books, Church, Holiness, Holy Orders, Prayer, Relationships, Saints, Service, Spirituality

Recently my husband came home from a Friends of the Library sale. My city library sells donated books every few months, and you pay only a measly two dollars for whatever you can stuff inside a paper grocery bag. The money goes toward buying new books for the library, essential when our city has slashed the new book budget to zero.

In my husband’s bag was a book he thought I might like because it’s about Catholicism. On the back cover are quotations from many prominent Catholics—that is, Catholics who are prominent in a worldly sort of way, such as politicians and actors. One quotation struck me immediately. I’m not going to mention who said it, but it read “When my mom asked if I wanted to be a nun, I said I’d rather be a priest . . . The nuns were always wonderful, but the power was with the priest.”

When I see something like that, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I did, however, read it aloud to my husband, and he burst into laughter. So maybe mirth is the more appropriate response to something so ridiculous.

If you think priests have a lot of power, read that quote to your local parish priest and see what his reaction is.

I guess the woman who said it had no idea what she was talking about. Does she not know why Catholic priests wear Roman collars? It’s because the collar is a symbol of slavery.

That’s right: Roman Catholic priests are slaves.

That is, they are slaves of Christ.

Ironically, that is where power—in a supernatural sense—resides, but since this woman is a politician, she seemed to be talking about worldly power.

If I had the opportunity, I would ask her who she thought had more worldly power: her parish priest or Mother Teresa. After all, Mother Teresa won the Nobel Peace Prize. She addressed the United Nations.

When’s the last time your parish priest did that?

Besides, worldly power means nothing to God, except in how it is wielded.

True power comes from conforming to God’s will, and you don’t have to be a priest to do that.

I got into this a bit in my novel Nearer the Dawn. A man who has turned away from his atheism to make an act of faith lies prone in adoration on a mountainside when he encounters God:

Here, with his nose in the dirt, he had never felt so elevated. Before, he had considered the walls of a church those of a prison or insane asylum. Now he realized the barriers he had seen were of his own construction, designed to keep him banished outside rather than let him in. At last here was Everything he had been searching for, Everything he was created for, the fulfillment of his hunger. This was not only the destination but the road that led everywhere, the key that opened all treasures. Here was the ecstasy that eternally satisfied that longing desire not only to be loved but to love fully and completely. And here was true freedom, for only by binding himself with the One he was free to be transformed, crowned with glory. No wonder he had never been able to do it alone. Relying on his own capabilities was like trying to operate on a single ohm, but now he was plugged into a Power Source mightier than all the suns of the universe, for here life overflowed with more abundance than he had thought possible.

Being a priest is wonderful, but it is God who crowns us with power and glory. The power, in other words, comes by being a saint.

The Gift of Community – by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Anxiety and Worry, Church, Communication, Community, Family, Holy Spirit, Life in the Spirit, Marriage, Prayer, Relationships, Spirituality


Our Lord knew that life could be difficult at times, as well as joyful.  We were created not to be a person just to ourselves, but rather a person who reacts with other people.  This way we have someone to share the joyful moments with as well as someone to help us in the difficult moments.  In our relationships with others we often form communities.   These communities can be a source of sharing great joy as well as a support for times when life is difficult.  Communities can take on different forms.  I recently was contemplating the gift of community at a time when very good friends (and members of one of our communities) lost their daughter.  It was most difficult for our friends, but the gift of community really came forth.  I would like to share with you some of the ways that I have experienced this community in action.  My hope is this will help you to better appreciate the gift of community in your own life.  The old adage; “it takes a village to raise a child” is an old African proverb but certainly relates to all of us today.  I would change that a little to say, “it takes a community to raise and support a Christian”.

My first experience of Christian Community happened in 1972.  My wife and I started going to a Catholic Charismatic prayer meeting.  That experience brought me to know Jesus and His Church and the gift of community.   The prayer group was one where I experienced joy, teachings and support.  We met every week and I looked forward to going every time.  We prayed together in the church and often had a teaching there; afterwards many of us would go over to the diner across the street just to socialize.  Because of my relationship with that prayer group, and with Jesus, my marriage became what it really needed to be.  My wife and I grew in our relationship as we grew in our relationship in the prayer group and our relationship to Jesus and His Church.  My wife and I had difficulties having children and this weighed heavily upon our relationship.  The prayer group was a great support to us and I believe it was through the prayers there that we received the miracle of our daughter.  The prayer group always shared with us our pains as well as our joys.  It was quite a gift.

We continued in weekly prayer groups until the early 1980’s when we were invited to join a prayer community called “My people”.  This continued in the same way as the prayer meeting, but with closer ties of friendship.  We prayed together and we did things to have fun together.  The friends that I mentioned earlier are part of that community.  All of us watched our children grow in to adults and then watched as our children had children.  It was a source of great joy.  At the same time there were many difficulties, from run-away teenagers to car accidents to deaths of spouses to all sorts of things that happened.  However, we were able to experience it all together.  We were able to lend support to each other.  Over and over again, God used this community to bring His loving support to us.

Over the 40 years that this community has existed, some members retired and moved away (down south).  Every year we have a community retreat and most of those who moved away come up for that retreat here on Long Island.   In some ways it was as if they never left.  We were, and are, all one community.  Those of us who still live on Long Island still meet regularly for our community prayer meeting.  We also maintain other social ties to one another.  Last month, when we heard about the sudden death of one couple’s 45 year old daughter, we were devastated.  However, the community pulled together to support them in so many ways.  Even those who moved away came up from the south to be there for the funeral.  We stayed with the family at the funeral home the whole time they were there.  We were, literally, “there for them”.  I could tell how much it was a support to them. 

I also noticed at the funeral another example of community.  Our friend’s daughter was an EMT for a local ambulance company.  They too came out in great numbers each day of the funeral.  They also provided a funeral dinner for everyone after the last service.  Their support was encouraging to all of us and especially to the parents.  We saw that many parishioners from our friend’s parish came too.  The funeral mass was quite full.  After the mass, the hearse drove past the hospital where our friend’s daughter worked in the Emergency Room.  It seemed that every worker in the hospital came outside to give her their last goodbye.  It was amazing to see how such a tragic loss of a young woman could also show so much good from the people around her.  Community is quite a gift that God uses to support us.

We can find community in our families, in our local parish, in our work, in our neighborhood, in our volunteer agencies…….in so many different places.  Sometimes we need to work on building these communities into something that God can use to help us all experience life with its joys and with its sorrows.  Anything that is good, takes a little work. 

I would ask you to look around at the communities that you are part of and give thanks to God for them.  Perhaps you can find ways to grow closer to each other in these communities.  Perhaps you can see in your family and in your co-workers ways to grow in community.  Church groups can be a fantastic way to experience community.  My wife and I, besides belonging to the “My People” charismatic community also belong to the Teams of Our Lady group in our parish.  We cherish those monthly meetings with them and the gift of community there.  I cannot picture life without these communities.  Proverbs 27:17 tells us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”.   We really need community to bring out the best in us.  Hebrews 10;25-25 tells us, “ And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,  not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. “

When we are in community we can experience better what it means to be “the people of God”.   1 Peter 2:9-19 tells us, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.  Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy”.   Community is also where we all can experience being the “body of Christ”.   Matthew 18:20 tells us that, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”  I Corinthians 12:12-13 says, “Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.  For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink”.

My friends, let us all drink of the one Spirit and use all the gifts that God gives to us, especially the gift of community.

The Great Chasm! America’s Growing Political Violence and Divide – by Alex Skelley

Anxiety and Worry, Communication, Ethics, Family, Godly Patriotism, Morality, Peace and Justice, Relationships, Service, Trust

Many American’s are tired of the banter (and worse) between the two major political parties.  Worse yet, there is a sense that many of our youth really do not care.  I normally stay away from political writings but this one gives me hope from today’s youth.  It is written by a seventeen year old (who happens to be my grandson) but I think that it fits in so well with what we as Catholics believe about being good citizens and standing up for goodness and being against violence.  Check it out by clicking here which will lead you right to my grandson’s High School newspaper article:  The Great Chasm

Rejection – by A.J. Avila

Anxiety and Worry, Communication, Family, Forgiveness, Relationships, Spirituality

We’ve all been on the receiving end of a gift we don’t want. If you can’t stand country music, ripping off the Christmas wrap and finding a CD entitled Country’s Greatest Hits isn’t going to go over very well. Nor is a DVD of a movie you can’t stand, nor a food that contains an ingredient you’re allergic to.
In my life I’ve gotten some pretty bad gifts (see ” Weird Gifts “)
So, when I get a gift like that, I figure there are four options:
1. Trash
2. Donation to charity
3. Sell on eBay
4. Re-gift to someone who will like it
As long as I’m sure the giver won’t find out about it, any of the above can be done without hurting that person’s feelings. So imagine my surprise to discover a different kind of option:
5. Give it back to the person who gave it to you—and tell her to give it to someone else.
Well, that happened to me during Eucharistic Adoration. One of the women of my parish brought back two gifts I had bestowed on her. Now, these weren’t just a couple of things I had picked up at a store. They were items I had created myself.
She’d had them for over a year, but I guess she didn’t want them anymore. I could, she said, give them to someone else.
Uh . . . that’s going to be a bit difficult when one of them—at the woman’s request—was personalized with her first and last names.
Oh, believe me, this wasn’t a case of forgetting who had given them to her. She included a thank-you note addressed to me. I’m not going to say what the gifts were, but I had put hours upon hours of care (and—metaphorically speaking—blood, sweat, and tears) into them. It had been like giving away a bit of my very being.
Sitting there, holding them in my hands, I felt like she had spat in my face. Or, worse, slapped my face.
Okay, I get that not everything I give someone is going to be that person’s cup of tea. But why not go with options 1-4 instead? Why bring these back to the one who gave them to her? Just how did she expect me to react to the message that she was rejecting my gifts? Was this supposed to make me happy?
Anyway, I sat there at Eucharistic Adoration, mostly gazing up at Christ in the Host or at the large crucifix behind the altar. It occurred to me that this must be something Jesus goes through every day—giving the immeasurably greater gift of salvation that He put His time, blood, sweat, and tears into—only to have it thrown back in His face.
I admit I wasn’t looking for an opportunity to be more Christ-like that day, but I guess I got one anyway. Lord, please help me to be more like You in every way.
Even when it hurts.
Especially when it hurts.

A Veteran’s Day Reflection – by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Anxiety and Worry, Church, Death and Dying, Godly Patriotism, Holy Orders, Prayer, Relationships, Trust

Even though we, as Catholics, are called to seek peace in all things, I believe it is important for us to reflect and celebrate our Veterans. We must thank them for their service and thank them for the freedom that we, and so many other people in the world, enjoy. Many of our soldiers are good Christians who often have been called to die for others. Jesus says that there is no greater gift than that. If you search our listing of Catholic Saints, over five hundred of them were soldiers, including the Peace loving St. Francis of Assisi.
Veteran’s Day, November 11th, was first known as Armistice Day because it remembered the Day that WWI ended and it remembered all the soldiers who gave so much in that war. In 1954 the name was changed to Veteran’s Day so that it would remember all the soldiers of all the wars. War is an absolutely terrible thing, but unfortunately it happens too often. With all of the evil in the world, there must be some people who will fight to keep freedom going. We in the United States of America should be very proud of our veterans and all that they have accomplished. We should pray for them. In honor of Veteran’s Day I would like to share with you a poem that tugs on my heart. I am a Vietnam Era veteran (though I was never in combat, just support) and this poem is written by a Vietnam veteran who was involved in heavy fighting. He is now a Catholic Priest and is pastor of a parish adjacent to mine.
Msgr. Charles Fink went in to the U.S. Army right after college and after training was sent to Vietnam where he was a rifleman and often a point man (most dangerous position). He was in Vietnam for one year and saw a considerable amount of battle. He lost many of his fellow infantrymen. He himself was wounded. His time in Vietnam helped him discern his calling to the Priesthood. He went in to the seminary after Vietnam and after being there for a while a nun came to talk. She talked about the Vietnam War and said things about soldiers in the war that Fr. Fink found upsetting. He said that she said things that were simply untrue and basically reflected what much in society thought at the time. He was so angered by her talk and her untruths that he went up to his room and wrote a poem entitled, “Bury me with soldiers”. In honor of all veterans from all the wars, I want to share that poem with you (permission given to me by Msgr. Fink).

BURY ME WITH SOLDIERS

I’ve played a lot of roles in life;
I’ve met a lot of men.
I’ve done some things I’d like to think
I wouldn’t do again

And though I’m young, I’m old enough
To know someday I’ll die.
And think about what lies beyond, And
Besides whom I would lie.

Perhaps it doesn’t matter much;
Still if I had my choice,
I’d want a grave amongst soldiers when
At last death quells my voice

I’m sick of the hypocrisy
Of lectures by the wise
I’ll take the man with all his flaws
Who goes, though scared, and dies.

The troops I know were commonplace;
They didn’t want the war
They fought because their fathers and
Their father’s fathers had before.

They cursed and killed and wept –
God knows they’re easy to deride –
But bury me with men like these;
They faced the guns and died.

It’s funny when you think of it,
The way we got along.
We’d come from different worlds
To live in one, where no one belongs

I didn’t even like them all and,
I’m sure they’d all agree.
Yet, I would give my life for them,
I hope. Some would for me.

So bury me with soldiers, please
Though much maligned they be
Yes, bury me with soldiers, for
I miss their company.

We will not soon see their like again
We’ve had our fill of war.
But, bury me with men like them
Till someone else does more!                                                       ©Copyright by Rev. Charles R. Fink

Please remember to thank our Veterans for their service and pray for them. So many veterans today suffer so much from what they have experienced. They need our love and our prayers.

An Infallible Pope—for Fallible Christians by Matt Nelson

Apologetics, Church, Early Church Fathers, Holy Orders, Holy Spirit, Relationships, Saints, Scripture, Spirituality

There are few dogmas of the Catholic Church that have appeared more scandalous to non-Catholic believers than papal infallibility. Consider, for example, this reflection from Protestant apologist Matt Slick in one of his critical pieces on the subject:
I can’t help but wonder what new revelations and infallible interpretations will arise within the Roman Catholic Church. Will the next six million years produce the complete deification of Mary? Will Mary become the creator of the universe in Roman Catholic lore? Or perhaps the pope might be elevated to a celestial level here on earth (Infallibility, Fallibility, and the Roman Catholic Church).
As any decently catechized Catholic will know, Slick can rest assured that neither Mary nor the pope will ever be the subjects of deification by the Catholic Church; not in the next sixty years, not in the next 600 billion years. Not ever. Indeed, papal infallibility exists to prevent such heresies. It is also fitting given the primary of the pope in the Church.
Papal Primacy
In St. Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus gives Peter alone “the keys to the kingdom of heaven” and the power to “bind and loose” (Matt. 16:16-20). Peter’s unique authority is powerfully exemplified in the Acts of the Apostles, at the Council of Jerusalem, when Peter made a definitive ruling regarding circumcision “and all the assembly kept silence” (Acts 15:12).
As the chief “overseer” of the Church, Peter—and his successors—was to maintain doctrinal purity, as well as doctrinal unity, in the Church. The eminent Protestant scholar James D.G. Dunn affirms this unitive role:
It is Peter who becomes the focal point of unity for the whole Church . . . he became the most hopeful symbol of unity for that growing Christianity which more and more came to think of itself as the Church Catholic” (Unity and Diversity in the New Testament, 386).
Writing in the second century, St. Irenaeus of Lyons gives important testimony to the primacy of the pope. Dealing with the Gnostic heretics in the second century, he asserted that the beliefs of every local Christian church must be congruent, not just with apostolic tradition, but with the teachings of every other Christian church. Why? Because the Church is essentially catholic. The primary way, wrote the ancient bishop of Lyons, that Christ ensures the unity of his Church is through the Petrine office: the church in Rome “is the greatest and most important and best-known of all . . . For with this church, because of her more powerful pre-eminence all churches must agree” (Against Heresies, III, 3.2) .
A Sensible Office
It makes sense that Jesus would establish such an authority in his absence—something like the Petrine office—because “the heart is deceitful above all things” (Jer. 17:9). We are easily fooled and distracted, and thereby often fail to hear the still, small voice of God. Yes, the Holy Spirit can and will lead us into all truth as Jesus promised—but how, exactly? Through prayer and contemplation of the scriptures, surely. But as St. Paul tells us, we are to “test everything [and] hold fast to what is good” (1 Thess. 5:21). How should we test and confirm our spiritual sentiments? Through the infallible guidance of the Church, especially realized in the ministry of the chief bishop of the Church.
Papal infallibility is often misunderstood, but not because it is a hard concept to understand. It makes perfect sense. We need an infallible teaching authority because we are so fallible.
And because this charism exists to prevent the teaching of error in the universal Church, it is only present when the pope fulfills three narrow criteria. First, he must be teaching as the supreme pastor of the universal church. Second, he must have the intention of deciding a matter finally. Third, the teaching must be regarding faith and morals.
Assisted, Not Inspired
The writers of the New Testament were also specially influenced by God as they communicated religious truth. But there’s a critical distinction to be made here. The New Testament writers were not merely influenced—they were inspired. Indeed they were inspired in such a profound manner that, although it was mere creatures who put letters to the sacred page, God was in fact the primary author. Catholic theologian Ludwig Ott affirms this distinction in his well-known Fundamentals of Catholic Dogma:
This assistance [involved in papal infallibility] must be distinguished . . . from Inspiration, which is a positive influence effected by God over an author, of such a nature that God himself is the principal author of the writing, and the ideas are consequently the Word of God.
Whereas inspiration is a positive influence to “write only what God wants written,” papal infallibility is essentially a negative—or preventative—charism that prevents the chief teacher of the Church from teaching “what God does not want taught,” that is, from teaching error.
Peter the Pitiful
Given his blunderous and impulsive character, wasn’t the apostle Peter rather unfit for the job as infallible leader of the Church? What about his successors? Precisely so—at least according to worldly standards. By gospel standards, however, Peter was the perfect fit.
Truly at the crux of the Good News is the paradoxical truth that God “has put down the mighty from their thrones, and exalted those of low degree” (Luke 1:52). Jesus specializes in making something great out the pitiful. Indeed during his earthly ministry he took a special interest in uneducated fishermen, sinful tax collectors—even murderers like Paul—many of whom he gave the task of overseeing his ministry and tending his flock.
Riddled as he was with imperfections, the genius of Peter’s selection may not have been immediately apparent. Centuries later, however, the power of God is clear. For the Chair of Peter still remains; no power has yet prevailed over the Church. “All the empires and the kingdoms have failed, because of this inherent and continual weakness, that they were founded by strong men and upon strong men,” writes Chesterton. “But this one thing, the historic Christian Church, was founded on a weak man, and for that reason it is indestructible. For no chain is stronger than its weakest link” (Heretics). Indeed, when Jesus gave Peter the keys and charism of infallibility, he infused the whole Christian people with a principle of unity that forms an unbreakable bond.
Peter’s Faith Did Not Fail
“The prayer of a righteous man is great in its effect,” writes St. James (James 5:16). How great in its effect must have been the Lord’s prayer for Peter when he said to his chief disciple, “I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail; and when you have turned again, strengthen your brethren” (Luke 22:32).
Indeed, from that perfect prayer of Christ have come two miracles that have strengthened the Church ever since. The first is the witness—the martyrdom—of Peter whose faith did not fail in the end. And the second is still with us; indeed we are living it—the indestructible Catholic Church, the community of believers in grace whose faith has been strengthened century after century by the Servant of the Servants of God, the pope.

No Birthday to Celebrate by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Abortion, Anxiety and Worry, Charity, Ethics, Forgiveness, Pro-Life, Relationships

Recently I saw a Gary Varvel cartoon depicting a multitude of children floating on a heavenly cloud with one saying to the other “I wish I could have celebrated a birthday”. In the cartoon there is another “cloud-baby” reading a newspaper with the headline ROE VS WADE now 35 (it is an old cartoon). The message was quite clear, the souls of all the aborted babies are in heaven, but they wish they had been given the opportunity to be born and enjoy all that our earthly lives enjoy, including birthday celebrations. This really hit me, especially with Right to Life Sunday coming this weekend. I find it difficult to comprehend how our Nation, whose Declaration of Independence says, “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Our government is supposed to protect these rights for all of us. Yet, the current law of the land allows us to kill unborn babies. We kill almost 2,000 per day. This is a true holocaust whose numbers far exceed any holocaust that man has done in history. We don’t use the term “kill”, we use “abort”. It sounds better but is truly the same thing. Many abortions are pure torture for the “baby” but we use the term “fetus” or “grouping of cells” to sound better. Look at any ultrasound picture; you can see that it is a baby. The torture consists of pulling off arms and legs and crushing heads. So much for the unalienable right to LIFE.
I know that abortion is a complicated topic today. I also know that too often women are in a very sad situation in life and they feel compelled to do this. However, I also know that any good human being must know that killing a defenseless child is bad, and that is what we are doing. Yes a woman does have the right to her own body, but what about the right the unborn baby has to live? No one should have a right to kill another living human being, especially the most vulnerable. It used to be that the Democratic Party prided itself on caring for the poorest and most defenseless but now they are the champions of Abortion. What happened? Certainly it seems that finances come in to play. USA today published an article on Feb 26, 2018 entitled, If the NRA owns Republicans, Planned Parenthood owns Democrats. There is no doubt that Planned Parenthood gives incredible financial aid to the Democratic Party and to Democratic candidates. It gives none to Republican candidates but spends considerable money to stop Republican candidates. Planned Parenthood receives about 587 million (2014 figures) in tax money and in the last three election cycles Planned Parenthood advocacy and political arms, employees, and their families have spent over $38 million to elect or defeat candidates for federal office who decide how much taxpayers subsidize the nation’s largest abortion provider. They appear now to be spending about $30 million for this year’s midterm elections to support democrats. Matt Walsh of the Daily Wire even goes so far to say that Planned Parenthood launders money for the Democratic Party “The abortion conglomerate has been giving millions to Democrat campaigns and Democrat causes for decades. Meanwhile, they are given millions — 500 million, to be exact — in taxpayer dollars annually.” It would appear that money trumps over care for the poor and defenseless babies in the womb. I find this very sad.
To be perfectly frank, I do not like Planned Parenthood. I look to some of the things that its founder, Margaret Sanger has said about the workings of Planned Parenthood. She referred to blacks and other minorities as “…human weeds,’ ‘reckless breeders,’ ‘spawning… human beings who never should have been born.” Margaret Sanger, Pivot of Civilization. She also said, “We do not want word to go out that we want to exterminate the Negro population,” Woman’s Body, Woman’s Right: A Social History of Birth Control in America, by Linda Gordon. Planned Parenthood seems to be doing that now through abortion and birth control measures. Our society seems to be ignoring this terrible race discrimination. As Christians, we recognize that all people are equal in the eyes of God. We are all His children. Planned Parenthood is quickly eliminating God’s children, both black and white, but with a very unequal rate against blacks. This has to stop.
We have lost over 56,000,000 lives to abortion since the Supreme Court decision (compare this to 1,354,664 total deaths in ALL the wars we have fought since we became a nation). I can’t help but to wonder if we killed off the person who would have found a cure to cancer, or other terrible diseases. What if we lost another Beethoven, or Tolkien or……. We really do not know. In 1994 Mother Theresa was invited to speak at the National Prayer Breakfast at the White House. She said, “The greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child, a direct killing of the innocent child, murder by the mother herself. And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another? How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion? As always, we must persuade her with love and we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts. Jesus gave even His life to love us. So, the mother who is thinking of abortion, should be helped to love, that is, to give until it hurts her plans, or her free time, to respect the life of her child. The father of that child, whoever he is, must also give until it hurts.
By abortion, the mother does not learn to love, but kills even her own child to solve her problems. And, by abortion, that father is told that he does not have to take any responsibility at all for the child he has brought into the world. The father is likely to put other women into the same trouble. So abortion just leads to more abortion. Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want. This is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion.” It is also said that Hillary Clinton asked her why there hasn’t been a woman President yet and Mother Teresa said that is probably because she was aborted.
I have a great deal of compassion for the woman who finds herself pregnant and feels that she just cannot give birth to the child. So often she is led, not always freely, to choose abortion. Once she chooses this she is often filled with guilt and remorse. In my ministry as a deacon, I have dealt with a considerable number of women in this situation. I will share one story that I shared in a previous article. One time, a woman that I knew, come up to me and asked me why I was always smiling and always so happy. I told her that it was because I believed in a God who loved me, gave me hope and forgave me. She said that she found it hard to believe in a God like that. She had lived a very difficult life and it was only recently that she had been able to come out of those difficulties. A few days after our initial encounter, she asked to speak to me in private. We talked for a while and she told me that she didn’t think that God could forgive her. I asked her why she thought that. She told me that she had an abortion when she was quite young and that it had plagued her with guilt ever since. She told me that she couldn’t forgive herself, so how could God forgive her? I felt really bad for this woman, and the pain that she had held on to for over twenty years. She had been away from the Church for quite some time, but was just now thinking of coming back. I asked her to speak to a priest about forgiveness and receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I also hooked her up with a local organization that gave counseling to women who have had abortions. Fortunately, she took me up on my advice and responded well and the change in her gives new meaning to the phrase, “born again”. Unfortunately she is not the only woman who has come to me with the same guilt and remorse that having an abortion brings.
Too often woman are coerced in to abortion by boyfriends, husbands, fathers and mothers, friends etc. Too often this coercion is through threats of violence and black mail. I feel so bad for these women. They should be given other choices. For me, adoption is one that helps all involved. We have one daughter who we adopted. Her birth mother was only 17 and a senior in High School but because she had the support of her family, she chose to give birth to her child and give her up for adoption. I thank God for that because now I have a daughter (and three grandsons) who have brought me so much joy. It is imperative that our government and churches and social agencies work to help women who are pregnant and do not have the ability to keep their children. What seems like a quick and easy out, abortion, often leads to much pain and guilt for all of their lives.
Lastly, we really need to consider the unborn baby. The life that is there should have the right to live and experience all that life has to offer us, including celebrating birthdays. Abortion totally takes that away from them. Even in life situations where poverty and disease and handicaps seem to indicate that life will not be good, so many examples exist to show that children can excel no matter what. It is the mandate of society and its government to make sure that we all have that inalienable right to life. God has brought forth life and we should not take that away. We need to create a society where life is respected and we all work together to ensure that.

Social Media Magisterium by Shaun McAfee – A book review by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Books, Church, Communication, Converts, Evangelism, Family, Holy Spirit, Pope Francis, Relationships, Social Media

Shaun McAfee has done it again. This is his fourth book and like the others it is easy to read and very informative. It also offers very practical advice based upon the years of experience Shaun has had using Social Media. This is a book that all Christians should read. It clearly presents Social Media as the tool to use to spread the Good News of God’s love. The title should grab most Catholics (Magisterium), but I hope that all Christians read it. Never before has the Church had such a great means to spread the Gospel message as we have today because of the Internet and Social Media. It would be a sin (probably literally) for Christians not to use this.
I have always viewed media as a powerful tool for society. I was co-editor of my High School news and in college I was a radio newsman and radio disc jockey. I was a member of the National Honor Society for Communications and studied communications in college. All of what Shaun says in this book fits in with what I have learned. I was pleasantly surprised that in the beginning of the book he mentions Marshall McLuhan (the intellectual of communications studies), who I studied extensively, but only found out from Shaun that he was a Catholic of extraordinary faith and had a real devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. We never learned that in our studies. Marshall McLuhan really predicted the birth of the Internet 30 years before it began. He called it the “global village” that communications would forge. Today we have that global village and as the scriptures say in Luke 10:2, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest”. You and I need to meet that call.
This book will help you meet that call. Shaun starts out with a history of the many documents issued by the Church on media. He then gives a little background, or as he calls it, “re-introduction in Social Media”. Both of these chapters are great but his third chapter “The Media and the Family” impressed me greatly. All parents and grandparents will find this chapter interesting and judicious for their time spent in the family. There is no doubt that as good as the Internet is; it also has its dark side. Like any tool, it can be used for good or for bad. It can be under-used and over-used. This chapter looks at the use of the Internet and the affect it has upon family life. Don’t miss this chapter. You probably should read it twice. There is a lot of “meat” there.
The fifth chapter is on Ecumenism: Sharing the Idea of Unity. I absolutely loved this chapter. I am a convert to Catholicism and so is Shaun. He presented many ideas that I have thought about over the last 40 years. As a convert I know the great presence of faith within the Protestant tradition, but I also know of the great lack of Unity there. As a Catholic I recognize the truth of our faith and how in our faith we are called to always share the truth but also seek to deal with Protestants as our own brothers and sisters in the faith. Shaun does a great job showing how all of us, with the proper use of Social Media can do both. Social Media is not just for Evangelizing unbelievers, but is also great for helping all of us grow towards obtaining what Jesus prayed for; that all might be one.
The last chapters of the book give great practical advice to bloggers and really to all that use Social Media in any of its forms. This too should be a must read. Shaun has had a great deal of experience in the use of all forms of Social Media and his suggestions are great. He tells us of things to do and things not to do. Both of these are important to know. His suggestions, as practical as they are, also fit in to what the many Church documents call us to do. The sub-title of this book is “A No-Nonsense Guide to the Proper Use of Media”. This book certainly does this. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has used social media in any form or who plans on using it shortly. I think that covers just about everyone.
Note: I can’t help but to mention the cover of this book which is done by the very creative TJ Burdick. It is the very famous “Creation of Adam” by Michelangelo found on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. However, on the cover Adam is holding a cell phone showing its apps and God the Father is pointing towards it apparently ready to touch one of the apps. It is said that Michelangelo has God the Father pointing to Adam’s outstretched finger ready to impart the gift of life to him. Perhaps we can fast forward and say that God the Father has given us the Internet to continue to give life to mankind. I do think it can do that. In the original fresco God the Father is clothed and Adam is in full frontal nudity. However, on this book cover (back) the book bar code covers this up much better than a leaf would. Nice placement, TJ.

Embracing Death: The Ultimate Act of Faith and Trust – by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Death and Dying, Family, Prayer, Relationships

Death is something that all of us must face some day. It is not an option. It is something that we all have in common, no matter what our station is in life. In my 38 years of diaconal ministry I have ministered to many who are close to death. Some people are fearful of death and try to avoid it no matter what the cost. Others seem to welcome it and even embrace it. I hope that when my time comes, I too will be able to welcome it and embrace it. It seems that when we have lived a life of faith and especially of trust in Jesus, we naturally can welcome and embrace death for it is our ultimate act of faith and trust.
A couple of weeks ago a close friend of mine called me and told me that one of his very good friends, Peter (not his real name) was near death. My friend told me of how close he was to Peter and how this man had helped him in his faith journey and even in meeting his wife. Now Peter was dying from cancer and had some questions about the death process. My friend asked me to come with him to visit Peter and hopefully answer his questions. I, of course, said yes and went with him that day. When I went to this dying man’s home, I was greeted by his wife and grown children. They were there to support him. As soon as I went in to Peter’s room, I could tell that he was weak and probably would die fairly soon. The cancer had taken all of the strength out of him, but his mind functioned very well. The first thing that we did was to pray for a moment. He then asked me how long this process of dying would take and what to expect. I had the sense that he had hoped the time would be short, but that he was also unsure of the process of dying.
Now I knew from my friend that Peter was a man of faith. He was a good Catholic that had attended things like Christian Awakening weekends and Charismatic prayer meetings. My friend told me that Peter had invited him to a Christian Awakening weekend many years ago and it was at that weekend that my friend met his future wife and also met Jesus in a new and real way. That weekend was instrumental in making my friend in to the good Catholic man that he is today, thanks to the Peter’s invitation. Peter’s faith had carried him through many difficulties in life. Now, his faith and trust in Jesus had to carry him through the death process.
Since Peter’s first question was how long it would take for him to die, I answered him by telling him that none of us can really know. Doctors can give estimates during fatal illnesses, but these are at best only an estimate. I told him that the timing was in God’s hands, BUT, in my many years of ministering to the dying, I found that those who had told their families and had told God that they were ready to die seemed to die quickly. This man seemed very happy to hear that. I then went through with him our Catholic teaching on death and what awaits us (for further information see my previous article by clicking the link below). The dying man seemed to find peace in what I said. I then told him that if he were ready to die, he should first tell his family members who gathered around him and then tell God that he was ready. Peter put a small smile on his face. We then all prayed together around him, including a Hail Mary. I told him that I would stop by again in two days.
The next day my friend called me to tell me that his friend had died, in peace. I truly believe that he had made peace with his family and had told God that he was ready. I know in my heart that this man had accepted, and even embraced and welcomed death. His struggles with cancer were now over and he was in the arms of God’s love and mercy. Death is hard on those who are left behind. My friend is a really great man and strong in his faith but I knew that this death was hard on him. I do see how God helped my friend in this. The day that Peter died, my friend was out on a long bicycle trip with another friend that we have in common. Because both of them have difficult schedules, this day trip was planned about two months before. My friend received the call of Peter’s death in the middle of the bicycle trip. Fortunately our other friend was with him and this helped tremendously. He too is a man of faith and a good Catholic. The beauty of the weather and their journey through a park and along the ocean brought comfort to my friend. Plus he had a good friend, a man of God with him. God put all of this together.
My friend was asked to do the eulogy and was a little nervous about it. He took a day to work on it and the next day I called him and asked him out to breakfast. I knew that his wife was away on retreat that weekend and that he was all alone. We had a great breakfast and talked a lot about the deceased. I then went with him over to his house to listen to the eulogy that he had written. He did a great job on the eulogy and was thankful to me for spending the time with him that day. It helped bring him strength and comfort. My friend knew the power of God working through the friends that he had. It truly helped him with this difficult time and made him strong enough to deliver a great eulogy.
Death is difficult on all who go through it. However faith in our Lord and the ability to trust in him (I love the Divine Mercy picture of Jesus that tell us JESUS, I TRUST IN YOU) can bring us true freedom where we can accept and embrace and welcome death when it is our time. It also gives us the ability to deal with loss when a loved one dies. God is so good. He is the God of LIFE and peace and comfort and strength.

For a previous article on death and dying see:   http://deaconmarty.com/lord-of-the-dead-by-deacon-marty-mcindoe/

Tepidity by A.J. Avila

Anxiety and Worry, Evangelism, Healing, Holy Spirit, Prayer, Purgatory, Relationships, Sacraments, Scripture, Spirituality

There’s a show on television called Air Disasters, and some time ago they ran a segment on the September 25, 1978 PSA crash in San Diego.
I remember that day very well. Like everybody else, I saw the news coverage on television. On approach to the airport, the PSA jet had collided with a Cessna flying in the area. The jet’s right wing caught on fire, and both planes crashed. Everyone on the planes, along with seven people on the ground, perished.
[SIDENOTE: The photo above is of the actual plane going down. The collision was so loud it was heard on the ground, and a photographer aimed his camera upward and took that picture.]
But what I didn’t know, until my sister phoned me, was that a friend of mine had been on board the PSA jet. He was only 26 and was on his way to San Diego to open a photography studio.
I debated whether or not to record the Air Disasters show. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what my friend went through those last terrifying seconds of his life. After I did record it, it sat in my DVR a couple of days before I got up the courage to watch it.
A lot of things, I saw, went wrong that day. I discovered several factors had contributed to the crash. For example, an imminent collision alarm had gone off in the control tower but was ignored because the alarm had been sounding when there was no problem. The PSA pilot had seen the Cessna but then had lowered his seat, which took it out of his line of vision. The Cessna was flown by a student pilot who was learning to operate by instruments only, and so he was wearing a helmet that allowed him to see nothing but the control panel. And for some inexplicable reason, he had changed course. The radio transmission from the PSA pilot was a bit garbled, but it sounded to the air traffic controller like the pilot had said he had already flown past the Cessna. The combination of these incidents led to a terrible disaster.
Something else went wrong that day, horribly wrong. It wasn’t something that caused the crash. It was something that happened after the crash, or rather, something that didn’t happen after the crash. As ashamed as I am to admit it, not once did it occur to me to pray for the soul of my friend.
I had been raised Catholic, attended Catholic elementary school, and in fact was teaching in a Catholic high school at the time. I knew about Purgatory. I knew how important it is to pray for our deceased friends and relatives.
Why, oh why did it not occur to me to pray for my friend? You’d think all the news coverage, including a photo of the plane going down, wing afire, on the cover of Life magazine, (yes, that picture above is the one) would be enough to kick-start me into a rosary, at least. Yet somehow, it wasn’t. Why not?
Well, I’ll tell you why. That is what happens when you become a tepid Catholic.
If you’d asked me back then, I would have told you I was a great Catholic. I put in my hour at Mass every Sunday. I put money into the collection basket. Hey, I even taught in a Catholic school!
Yet the rest of the time I pretty much ignored God, except, of course, when I wanted a personal favor. My rosary was packed away in a drawer. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been to Confession.
In Luke 17:10 Jesus has some harsh words for those who do the bare minimum, calling them unworthy servants. In Revelation 3:16, He even states that He spits lukewarm souls out of his mouth. (The Douay-Rheims version uses the word “vomits” instead of “spits.”)
I thank God that He eventually wacked me over the head with a spiritual 2 x 4, and I finally came to my senses. Prayers and Masses were offered for my friend and other souls for whom I should have pleaded.
I don’t know if such things work retroactively. But, if my prayers were too late for my friend, I am certain they were applied to other members of the Church Suffering.
Let’s not forget those who have passed on before us. “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.” (Matthew 5:7) And let’s be useful, not worthless, servants who live our faith daily through prayer and sacrifice.

The original post can be found at:  Reflections On My Catholic Journey

Witnessing – by A.J. Avila

Anxiety and Worry, Ethics, Evangelism, Forgiveness, Morality, Peace and Justice, Relationships, Trust

I know a person who actually was in a witness protection program.
He worked for a financial institution, and apparently some swindling was going on in the background. It showed up in an audit, and my friend was served with a subpoena to testify in court.
That’s when, in the middle of the night, a couple of guys kicked in his apartment door, shoved the business end of a gun between his eyes, and told him that if he testified, they would come back and pull the trigger.
After they left, he called the police.
The police called the FBI.
The FBI agents told him to pack a suitcase, that he was moving out immediately and going into witness protection.
Within a day they had found him a new apartment and moved his belongings there. He was told not to contact anyone he knew, neither friends nor family. An FBI agent moved into the apartment in order to protect him.
My friend couldn’t believe this was happening. He knew only a tiny piece of what was a complicated jigsaw puzzle in the embezzlement case. But, apparently, it was a pertinent piece.
It took my husband and I a while to realize our friend had dropped off the radar. He wouldn’t return our phone calls, and after talking to some other friends, we realized he wasn’t getting in contact with them either.
Then, one day, out of the blue, he called me.
He said he was okay but couldn’t tell me what was going on. He said he had snuck a cell phone down to the laundry room and that’s how he could phone me.
Like a soldier on a foreign battlefield, he was hungry for news from home. I filled him in on the latest in our lives.
Meanwhile, as I later found out, he wasn’t allowed to get a job because those who were threatening his life might find him that way. He was stuck in an apartment with nothing to do for month after month as the case dragged through the legal system. Worse, since he couldn’t work, the expenses of living were eating up his life savings.
And, after everything my friend went through, the District Attorney dropped the charges.
For all I know, threats were made to other individuals subpoenaed to testify, and they caved in—resulting in the lack of enough evidence to prosecute.
Whatever the reason, it freed my friend to get out of witness protection and go back to his life.
I consider my friend a martyr.
The word “martyr” means “witness.” Having the guts to stand up and tell the truth when threatened isn’t easy. In some ways a daily martyrdom like that is even tougher than a quick noose or ax.
I’m glad to report that my friend has gotten back on his feet and is doing well.
As for the embezzlers, the statute of limitations has run out. They probably think they got away with it.
But, as you and I know, God Himself is also a witness to their crimes, and unless they repent, the charges will not once again be dropped.

A Birthday Reflection of LIFE – by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Ethics, Family, Prayer, Pro-Life, Relationships

My birthday is coming up in a few days and I was reflecting on that in prayer. The Lord reminded me what a very precious gift that LIFE is. I certainly enjoy life and try to celebrate it every day in every way that I can. I haven’t had a life without any problems, but I do see how even those problems helped me to better experience LIFE itself. I feel extremely blessed and I thank God for that gift. I also know that I have to thank my parents for that. Actually, I have been doing ancestral research ever since I did my DNA testing and I see that I have a lot more than just my parents to thank.
During my reflecting time I realized something quite challenging. I realized that I had been born in to a situation that could have very easily brought about the termination of my life. My mother married my birth father when she was just 20 years old. He had just come back from Europe after spending many years in the Army in WWII. He was one of the many who stormed the beaches at Normandy. When I visited Normandy several years ago I was confronted with the realization that he had been part of an extremely bloody battle. We lost almost 10,000 soldiers in the Invasion of Normandy. Fortunately my birth father was not one of them. My wife and I stood on the beaches at Normandy and she said to me, “Just think, if your birth father had been one of the many killed, you wouldn’t be here.” I then started thinking about those almost 10,000 men (probably more like boys) who were killed and all those children that they never were able to father. When you look at it that way you see how the casualties of war are so much greater than the numbers reported.
When my mother married my birth father at the age of 20, I am sure that she thought this was a marriage that would last forever and be filled with children. My mother became pregnant with me just a month after they married and I was born when she was just 21. As soon as my mother told my birth father that she was pregnant, he left her. He couldn’t handle the idea of having a baby. My guess is that he suffered from what they then called, “shell shock” and what we today call, “post traumatic stress disorder”. My mother had no idea where he had taken off to. Even his mother had no idea where he had gone. He just disappeared. It must have been so difficult on my mother to try to deal with a new husband who had left her in the beginning of her pregnancy. Her source of support was now missing. She probably thought about what “options” she might have, and even though it wasn’t legal then, abortion was common enough to be one of those options. I give thanks to God that she chose to continue nurturing and loving the LIFE inside of her. I also give thanks that she had parents that were able to welcome her in to their home. She moved in with my grandparents and lived there until she married again to my true father. I shared no DNA with him, but he legally adopted me and treated me and loved me as his son. God really blessed me.
Those first 9 years were difficult on my mom. She was a beautiful blond haired, blue eyed woman who could have lived a very active social life, but now she had to live with her parents and work hard to support me. She even shared a bed with me until I was about 5 and then had to sleep on the couch to give me her bed. She made many sacrifices for me and I could never thank her enough for all she had done. There is no doubt that aborting me would have been easier for her and given her a life style that most women that age wanted. But she chose LIFE and that is why I exist. Thank you Mom.
My wife and I were never able to have children. After much prayer, the Lord led us to adopt our daughter, who has been, and still is, a great joy to us. Again I was confronted with the gift of someone choosing LIFE and not abortion. My daughter’s birth mother was a High School Senior and only 17 years old when she became pregnant as a result of a summer romance. Certainly this was an inconvenient pregnancy, but she too chose LIFE instead of abortion. I know that it couldn’t have been easy on her to have this baby and to give up this baby but I am so glad that she did. I can’t picture my life without my daughter and the three grandsons that she has given us.
So after reflected on all of this, I can’t help but to shout out loudly CHOOSE LIFE and to absolutely denounce abortion. I feel for so many woman who become pregnant at a time that is not good for them. I just hope that they can find the courage and strength and support to give birth to their child. If they cannot keep them, I hope they consider adoption. It is a precious gift to another couple. Our God is a God of LIFE. I thank Him for my life and I thank Him for my mom and the birth mom of my daughter. I thank Him for all those who work hard to defend LIFE and all those who choose LIFE. LIFE is good. God is good.

The Last Jedi and 6th Century Irish Monks by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Church, Jewish roots, Movie Reviews, Prayer, Relationships, Spirituality

I have to confess, I love the Star Wars movies. They appeal to my love of science fiction as well as my love of seeing good triumph over evil. The last two movies have been quite interesting. In the 2015 The Force Awakens we are reunited with some of the original cast members. It ends with the search for the Jedi, Luke Skywalker. They search throughout the galaxy and he is finally found, all alone, in a mysterious land with ancient stone structures. The new 2017 movie, The Last Jedi takes us back to this mysterious land. It is beautiful and remote and ancient looking. The movie cameras do a great job of capturing the strange beauty that this land holds. Luke Skywalker went there to “get away” and now a new Jedi comes to be trained by him in the ways of the Force and the Jedi. The interesting thing is that this new mysterious beautiful land is not a construct for the movie. Rather, it is a place that has been a “get away” since the 6th century. It is an island off the coast of Ireland called Skellig Michael.
Skellig Michael appears to have been uninhabited until the 500’s when Irish monks came and built their monastery there. It is a beautiful island surrounded by turbulent seas and high winds. That is what kept the people from inhabiting it and what caused the monks to move there. Escaping from the world or getting away is nothing new. From about the 2nd century before Christ, the Jews had a monastic community called the Essenes. They escaped from the main communities by going in to uninhabited parts of the Jewish desert. Early Christians knew of the Essenes and also knew of St. John the Baptist who “got away” and of Jesus who went in to the desert for 40 days and nights to pray. Inspired by this, early Christians would often go out in to the desert and live in caves and pray. Around the 3rd century they started forming small monastic communities in remote areas so they were away from the normal society and its distractions. Eventually monastic rules of life developed and larger communities thrived. Most of this originally was in North Africa, the mid east and the holy lands. This spread somewhat in to western Mediterranean cities in Italy and France. By the 500’ s it spread to England and Ireland. Skellig Michael is one of the early Irish monastic communities.
The monastic community on Skellig Michael was a small community but flourished until the 13th century when climate changes and changes in Church culture forced it to be abandoned. The structures now there consist of stone bee-hive buildings as well as a larger gathering hall and a Church. After the monks left Skellig Michael the only inhabitants were the sea birds. The buildings that we see today are those built 1500 years ago. The Irish office of Public Works repaired some of the buildings in the 1800’s. At that time they built two lighthouses on the island. Except for lighthouse personnel, the island has remained uninhabited. In 1996 it was made a World Heritage Site. When the Star Wars producers decided to use the location for filming the Irish government gave them permission. Because of this, there are now tours out to the island. I didn’t know about it the last time I was in Ireland, but the next time I go, I plan on visiting it. I am a little worried about the 600 stone steps you need to take to get to the monastery.
So how does this affect us? This Hollywood movie that takes place in the future has caused us to look back at our past. Just as the future Luke Skywalker went to the island to get away and reflect, the early Christian monks went to the island to get away and reflect. This need to remove ourselves from the distractions of everyday society is no less valid today than it was for the Essenes over 2000 years ago or for the early Christians or for us today. Everyday life and its distractions make it difficult to reflect on what God is trying to tell us. We all need to get away once in a while to try to center in on God. It isn’t necessary to go to Skellig Michael. We certainly can find places much closer. We don’t have to spend our lifetime away, but we should spend a little time away as often as we can. Certainly religious retreats can help us with that, but sometimes things much easier are good too. If we plan well, we can find some down time to sit by ourselves and reflect. Sometimes it is as easy as turning the radio off when we drive or going out for a quiet walk.
Star Wars talks about the Force. They continually use the phrase, The Force Be With You. We Catholic ‘s should be used to the phrase, The Lord Be With You. It is easy to see that the Star Wars force is none other than a reflection on our own God. Just as in Star Wars when the Jedi are called to put the force to the work of good, we too are called to put our faith to the work of good. Just as in Star Wars the Jedi need to reflect on and grow in their use of the force, we too need to reflect on and grown in our use of faith and God’s presence. Luke Skywalker knew what the early Irish monks of Skellig Michael knew; that to get closer to the Force/God, we need time away. Do yourself a favor; find some time to get away.

Judge Not by A.J. Avila

Anxiety and Worry, Communication, Divine Mercy, Peace and Justice, Relationships, Scripture, Uncategorized

Judge Not – by A.J. Avila

We all have a tendency to jump to conclusions.
That was certainly the case for me one time after a visit to my local library. Back then I was still single, and so I had gone there alone. On the way out, my arms laden with books, a rather seedy-looking man—who obviously hadn’t bathed for quite some time—held the door open for me. I thanked him as any lady should do when extended this courtesy.
But when we got outside in the parking lot, it was a different story. It was night, and except for the two of us, the lot was empty. I could hear this guy’s footsteps right behind me. And he was whistling the way a man whistles at a woman he thinks is attractive.
I began to panic. If he grabbed me, I had no defense. Fortunately, the police station shared the same parking lot. It occurred to me I should turn around, hurl my books at him, and run for the police station as fast as I could.
As I approached my car, I readied myself. To my distress, the footsteps were getting closer, and he was still whistling. I whipped around, about to pelt him with my books—
—and fortunately discovered what was really happening.
He wasn’t whistling at me.
He was calling his dog.
I have to admit the greater part of the reason I thought he was going to attack me was because of his appearance. Yes, I had judged him based upon that.
In Matthew 7:1, Christ admonishes us to “Judge not, that you may not be judged.”
So . . . what does that mean, exactly? Some folk seem to think anyone who judges another is guilty of breaking this prohibition. But then, ironically, those who think that way have already set themselves up as judges.
Does it mean I can’t judge someone without the proper placard or license plate parking in a handicapped space? Well, no—but also yes.
I can judge that it is breaking the law to park in such a space without the proper authorization. However, I can’t judge what is inside the heart of the person doing so.
For all I know, he missed the sign saying it’s a handicapped space. For all I know, he forgot his placard at home. (Not, I believe, that those would make any difference to a police officer who merely sees the car parked there.)
I can, in other words, judge an action, but I can’t judge a motive. We can’t judge even someone like Hitler that way. We can judge Hitler’s actions as wrong. But for all we know, Hitler was insane and therefore not responsible for them. Only God can infallibly determine that.
I’m sure that man in the library parking lot had no idea he was scaring me. I’m certain he wasn’t thinking about me at all.
I was right to be cautious about his actions.
But I was totally wrong about the motive for his behavior.

Posted on November 21, 2017 by ajavilanovels.  Visit A.J. Avila at Avila web page

On Being Bullied – by A.J. Avila (PLUS a new novel)

Anxiety and Worry, Books, Charity, Communication, Morality, Peace and Justice, Relationships, Teaching


Not too long ago, I published a blog post about how I was spurned in church during the Sign of Peace (see https://reflections911.wordpress.com/2017/07/07/spurned-at-church and also shared on this blog).  Then I made a huge mistake. I mentioned the post on a forum.
You would not believe the negativity I got. I was told what a horrible person I am, how being spurned was my own fault, and how I should have been more sympathetic to the woman who had treated me so poorly.
Silly me. I thought it was a teachable moment. I thought I made it clear this was something I needed to work on, that since St. Paul had rejoiced in his sufferings, I should learn to do that too.
I guess I should have known better than to mention what happened since you would not believe the reactions I’ve gotten when I disclose that I used to be bullied as a kid. I’ve grouped those responses into seven categories:
1. “I Don’t Believe You”
You’re told you’re either delusional or making a mountain out of a molehill. Like Holocaust deniers, some folk find it impossible to believe others, especially children, could be so cruel. Therefore, you must be making the whole thing up, probably to gain unwarranted sympathy for yourself.
2. “You Must Have Done Something to Deserve It”
Folks who tell you this also believe others wouldn’t be so cruel—unless, of course, you’ve given them a reason. You must have been a bully first and the treatment you received was simple retaliation. When you protest that you didn’t do anything, you’re not believed.
3. “Why Can’t You Just Shrug It Off?”
People who tell you this have probably experienced some bullying themselves. I agree that most likely few kids get through childhood without such a confrontation or two happening to them. What this fails to consider is that you’re not talking about a couple of isolated incidents. You’re talking about daily bullying, and not just by other children but by those—like teachers—in authority over you. A person who tells you to just shrug it off has no idea how much shrugging this would take.
4. “Grow a Backbone!” You should have a stiff upper lip and let the insults slide off you like water off a duck. After all, sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never harm you. What the person telling you this fails to understand is that you were only a child and that names can harm your self-image, especially if it’s chronic name-calling.
5. “You Should Have Fought Back!”
This one seems to envision two little boys slugging it out on the school playground, and the bully, once thoroughly whooped, stops antagonizing his victim. Well, golly gee willikers, why didn’t I think of that? Oh wait. I did—with disastrous results. The problem here is that you’re not bullied by just other kids but by those in authority. So if you call your bully a name, she goes whining to the teacher, and then—behold!—now you’re the bully! It doesn’t matter if you do only a tenth of what the bully did to you. In everyone’s eyes, you are automatically wrong. In fact, you’ve just demonstrated that you deserve everything you’re getting.
6. “You Were the Victim of Bullying? Oh, Goody! I’ve Been Looking for One of Those!”
Amazingly, when you mention that you were bullied as a child, adult bullies, like a shark smelling a drop of blood in the ocean, come out in droves. I’ve been told by people who don’t know me at all that I’m a terrible, horrible person who has all kinds of physical and psychological problems.
7. “It Happened to Me Too”
Every once in a while, I come across a soul I can commiserate with. Unless you’ve been a victim of this yourself, you can only imagine what it’s like. Dealing with daily badgering isn’t easy, and I entirely disagree with the extremes of either jumping off a building or shooting up a classroom. So . . . just what do you do to survive this? My own tactic was to retreat into a world of books. When my nose was in a book, I was less likely to be accosted, and each novel I read allowed me to share an adventure in another world where I wasn’t bullied. I ended up reading a book a day—and if anything good came out of this, it helped prepare me for when I myself would be the novelist creating other worlds.

A.J. Avila has a brand new novel.  Take a look below.

My third Christian novel, Amaranth, is now available in paperback.
Here’s the story:
Would you take an elixir that made you perpetually young and physically immortal?
What if the price for it was your eternal soul?
Billionaire Desmond Sceller acquires such a wonder drug. But when eighty-year-old Marie Long is rejuvenated by it against her will, she quickly discovers unending beauty and youth is not the paradise it seems. Sceller, however, intends on using the elixir to entice all mankind into submitting to his tyrannical control. When Marie and her grandson Peter unearth this evil scheme, they soon discover that only an extraordinary sacrifice on their part can free humanity from Sceller’s nefarious plan.

Click here to purchase Amaranth on Amazon
Also, right now the Kindle version is on sale for just 99¢.

 

The Birth of Mary and the Protoevangelium of James by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Angels, Blessed Virgin Mary, Church, Early Church Fathers, Family, Fatherhood, Holy Spirit, Jewish roots, Liturgy, Marriage, Miracles, Prayer, Relationships, Saints, Scripture

If we asked most Catholics who Mary’s parents were they would probably answer Anna and Joachim. But if we look in the Holy Bible there is no mention of Mary’s birth or the name of her parents. So how do we know their names? The simple answer is through tradition. As Catholics, we believe that God reveals His truths to us through the Holy Bible AND through tradition. Tradition was sacred to the Jews (we all know that great song from Fiddler on the Roof) and is also sacred to us. St. Paul tells us to “stand firm and hold to the traditions which you were taught by us, either by word of mouth or by letter” (2 Thess. 2:15).
On September 8th we celebrate the birthday of Mary. This is exactly nine months after we celebrate the Feast of the Immaculate Conception on December 8th. This feast was celebrated no later than the 6th century. An eastern Saint, St. Romanos, a deacon who composed numerous liturgical songs, wrote a hymn celebrating the birthday of Mary. The hymn was quite popular and used in liturgies to celebrate the birthday of Mary which helped lead us to the feast day. The Eastern Churches first celebrated it and then within a century the Roman Church celebrated it. St. Romanos relied heavily upon the apocryphal writing, The Protoevangelium of St. James, in composing the lyrics to his hymn on the Nativity of Mary.
As an apocryphal writing, we must realize that the Church decided that this book was not inspired as scripture and it was not placed in the canon of the bible. However, this writing has been seen as a good source of tradition from the earliest times of the Church. Most scholars believe that it was composed around 145 AD. Because of this, and the language structure, we know that St. James did not write it. However it came from an area where St. James had followers and there may be some things passed on from him in the writing. In view of all of this, and with a certain amount of caution, I would like to share some of the points covered in the Protoevangelium concerning Mary and her birth and upbringing.
The Protoevangelium does repeat many items found in the scriptures concerning Mary and the birth of Jesus. But it adds details prior to that not mentioned in the sacred scriptures. It tells us that her parents were named Joachim and Anna and that Joachim and Anna were unable to conceive for many years and that both of them became depressed at not being able to have children. It tells us that Joachim became so depressed that he went out to the desert to live in solitude in a tent where he fasted for 40 days and 40 nights pleading with God. At the same time, Anna grieved not having Joachim with her and not being able to become pregnant. She prayed that God would bless her as He had blessed Sarah with Isaac. The Protoevangelium tells us that an angel appeared to Anna and told her that God had heard her prayer and that “you shall conceive and bring forth; and your seed shall be spoken of in all the world”.
About the same time, an angel appeared to Joachim and told him that God had heard his prayers. He was told to go to Anna and that Anna would conceive a child. Nine months later Anna gave birth to a little girl and they name her Mary. The Protoevangelium tells us that at the birth Anna said, “My soul has been magnified this day.” The writings go on to say that Mary walked at six months old. When she was one year old, Joachim held a great birthday feast for Mary and invited the priests, scribes and elders and all the people of Israel. The priests blessed Mary saying, “O God of our fathers, bless this child and give her an everlasting name to be named in all generations”.
The Protoevangelium tells us that at the age of three Joachim and Anna took Mary to the temple to be raised there hoping that her heart would be captivated by the Temple. When they gave her to the priest he kissed her and blessed her saying, “The Lord has magnified your name in all generations. In you, on the last of the days, the Lord will manifest His redemption to the sons of Israel.” The priest put her down on the third step and the grace of God came upon her and Mary danced with joy and the people loved her.
The Protoevangelium goes on to tell us that Mary stayed in the temple until she was 12 years old. At that time the chief priest received a visit from an angel while in the Holy of Holies telling him to assemble the widowers of the people and that God would give a sign as to which widower He chose for Mary. When all of the widowers assembled the High Priest again prayed to God for a sign to show which widower would receive Mary as his wife. When a dove appeared and landed on Joseph’s head, the high priest declared him to be the one who was chosen. At first Joseph declined saying that he had children and was an old man and it wasn’t good for him to take such a young girl. The chief priest reminded Joseph that it was God’s will and Joseph said to Mary, “Behold I have received you from the temple of the Lord; and now I leave you in my house and go away to build my buildings, and I shall come to you. The Lord will protect you”.
As interesting as all this is, we must remember that the Church refused to recognize the Protoevangelium as sacred scripture. We cannot be sure of any truth found here, but as I said earlier, this is a very early writing that passes on at least some of the tradition handed down about our beloved mother, Mary. It might help us imagine a little better the life of the most significant woman who ever walked the earth (and rule in Heaven). Hail Mary full of grace…….
As Saint Augustine said, “She is the flower of the field from whom bloomed the precious lily of the valley. Through her birth the nature inherited from our first parents is changed.”
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER MARY….WE LOVE YOU

 

One Remarkable Man: Brother Joseph Dutton by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Charity, Church, Evangelism, Godly Patriotism, Peace and Justice, Relationships, Sacraments, Saints, Service, Spirituality

Brother Joseph with some of his leper friends  More pictures at the end.

God gives us the gift of remarkable people to remind us that mankind can be so much more than it often is. One of these remarkable people is Brother Joseph Dutton. Brother Dutton was born Ira Dutton on April 27, 1847 on a family farm in Stowe, Vermont. When he was only four years old, his family moved to Janesville, Wisconsin. Ira was an intelligent boy and industrious student. He worked hard to be able to attend college. After college the Civil War began and he joined the Army on the side of the North. He was assigned duties as a quartermaster. This not only kept him out of battle, but also provided training for what God would call him to do. At the end of the war he met a woman that he fell in love with. They were married, but sadly she left him after a year and asked for a divorce. This really upset Ira because he loved his wife and took his marriage vows very seriously.

Ira took a job where he disinterred the bodies of Civil War soldiers from the battlefield graves to be able to move them to the new National Cemeteries. Ira knew this was an important job, but it was also gruesome and depressing. To deal with his depressing job, and the separation from his wife, Ira began drinking heavily. He was able to remain sober for the day job, but was usually drunk for the rest of the time. He did this for about ten years. Ira saw that alcohol was destroying him, so when our Nation was celebrating the 100th year of the Declaration of Independence in 1876, Ira declared independence from alcohol. At this time he made a decision to get right with God and he began searching out different religions. Ira decided to become a Roman Catholic. When he was baptized, he took on the new name of Joseph. He then moved to a Trappist Monastery in Gethsemane, Kentucky to live and pray and work with the monks. Joseph never took formal vows. He left after almost two years knowing that God was calling him to a life of serving others.

When Joseph attended a religious conference he heard about the work that Father Damian was doing with the Lepers in Hawaii. Joseph immediately felt called to go to Hawaii and help Father Damian. Joseph felt this was a way that he could lead a life of penance and also help others. He immediately began making preparations to go to Molokai. He contacted both Church and Civil authorities to obtain permission to go. He never thought to contact Father Damian. Joseph was set and headed for the long journey to Molokai. The day that he arrived on Molokai, July 19, 1886, a very surprised Father Damian greeted this man. Joseph told Father Damian that he had come to devote the rest of his life to serving the lepers and helping Father Damian. One can only imagine how pleased Father Damian was. Father Damian had made numerous requests to both Church and Civil leaders to send him help. None of them seemed to be able to. Now, Joseph appears and becomes Father Damian’s right hand man (and later successor). Even though Joseph was not part of a religious community, from that day on Father Damian called Joseph, Brother Joseph. He has been known as that ever since.

The day after his arrival, Brother Joseph learned how to clean and care for the lepers wounds. This was quite a hard thing for most people to do since lepers are very contagious and at that time it was a disease that ended in death after grueling suffering. Brother Joseph found that the time he had spent disinterring Civil War bodied had prepared him to be able to deal with seeing and treating the lepers wounds. Brother Joseph proved to be a hard and tireless worker. Even though he and Father Damian had quite different personalities, they became very close. They both shared the same desire to serve God’s people who suffered from leprosy. They also both shared a strong love of God. Father Damian once said of Brother Joseph, “..a middle aged, well educated man. He resides here with me and as a true brother helps me caring for the sick. He too, though not a priest, finds his comfort in the Blessed Sacrament. You will admire with me the almighty power of Grace in favor of my new companion.”

Even though Father Damian knew he was dying from leprosy himself, his new friend brought him new hope that the colony would continue. Both of them worked hard together to make the leper colony as good as it could become. On April 15, 1889, Father Damian died from the disease. They had a funeral mass of celebration (something that they did very often with each death in the colony). After his death, the full responsibility of the Leper Colony fell upon Brother Joseph. He was thankful for his training as an Army quartermaster. It helped him in making sure the Colony had all the supplies that it needed. Brother Joseph was also responsible for significant building projects in the community. Finally another priest was sent to the colony, Father Lambert Carmardy to help.

In 1898 the United States formally annexed Hawaii as a U.S. territory. This made Brother Joseph very happy. Brother Joseph was a true Patriot and from the moment he came to Molokai, he hoisted the US Flag every morning and brought it down every evening. He gave the lepers in the colony a sense of his own patriotism. Now this land was US soil and they all rejoiced. The annexation also brought more help to the colony. The government sent funds and help to improve life in the Colony.

In 1908, Brother Dutton heard that the US White Fleet would be coming past Hawaii. Brother Dutton wished that somehow the Fleet would sail past his Colony. President Theodore Roosevelt heard of this wish and sent a Presidential Order to Admiral Charles Stillman Perry to go by Molokai and give a military salute to the Colony. The ships came in battle formation and each ship dipped their colors in salute and Brother Joseph and the Colony dipped their flag in salute for each ship. It was a huge moment for Brother Joseph and the Colony to receive such an honor from the President and the US government.

Even though Brother Joseph was living a life of isolation from the world, he corresponded with many friends. Word of Father Damian’s death and all that Brother Joseph was doing reached out to the world with great interest. Brother Joseph received many letters (and donations) and requests for pictures of him. Brother Joseph was never interested in making himself a hero. He responded to his popularity by saying, “All these writers make me out a hero, while I don’t feel a bit like one. I don’t claim to have done any great things; I am merely trying in a small way to help my neighbor and my own soul”.

After serving almost forty five years at the Colony, Brother Joseph Dutton died in 1931. He was mourned and missed by all in the Colony. World leaders paid tribute to him but one of the best is by President Calvin Coolidge. He said. “Whenever his story is told, men will pause to worship. His faith, his work, his self sacrifice appeal to people because there is always something of the same spirit in them. Therein lies the moral power of the world. He realized a vision that we all have.”

In 1949, Blessed Sacrament Church was built on the land that Brother Joseph’s family farm occupied in Stowe Vermont. It has beautiful Murals painted by Andre Girard on the outside walls of the Church. These murals tell the story of Brother Joseph and the Leper Colony on Molokai. The people of Stowe wanted to tell the story of their remarkable native, Brother Joseph Dutton and to give him honor. I believe that we all should tell the story and give honor to Brother Joseph by the way we live our lives. As President Coolidge said, “he realized a vision that we all have”.

Note: On June 23rd, 2015 the Diocese of Honolulu took the first of many steps to Sainthood for Brother Joseph. They created the Brother Joseph Dutton Guild to gather information for the cause.

St Philomena Church in the leper colony.

Blessed Sacrament Church in Stowe Vermont on the farmland where Brother Joseph was born

Some of the murals depicting Brother Joseph on Molokai located on the outside of the Church in Stowe Vermont.

A close up of the mural depicting Brother Joseph meeting Father Damian

Spurned at Church by A. J. Avila

Anxiety and Worry, Church, Liturgy, Relationships, Sacraments, Scripture, Spirituality

Spurned at Church

When we go to Mass, we don’t necessarily expect the folks there to be warm and welcoming. After all, it’s human nature to occasionally be aloof. We’re weak, sinful people, and we don’t leave our foibles at the church door before coming inside.
But we do expect—have a right to expect—that the people we encounter there will at the very least be polite, especially during that one time in the service when we greet one another: the Sign of Peace.
So imagine my surprise when at one weekday Mass I put out my hand to shake that of the young lady in front of me and got snubbed.
Well, a lot more than snubbed. One look at my hand offered in friendship and she crossed her forearms in front of her head, turned her face aside, and shuddered with what I can only describe as utter disgust.
As though touching me would make her vomit.
Before you even ask, yes, I bathe, and yes, I use deodorant.
Now I realize some people are germaphobes, but a simple “No, thank you” or “I don’t shake hands” would have sufficed.
Needless to say, I was shocked. More than shocked, I was deeply hurt.
Of course I immediately forgave her and offered up the pain to God for her sake.
In case you’re wondering if she ever shakes anybody else’s hand, I wouldn’t know. Since this was a weekday Mass, the church wasn’t very full and we two were the only ones within arm’s reach of each other.
When something like this happens, it bumps up against what I find to be one of the most difficult verses of the Bible: “And we know that to them that love God, all things work together unto good, to such as, according to his purpose, are called to be saints” (Romans 8:28).
“All things work together unto good.” All things, including this.
So I had to stop and ask myself how this worked unto good.
It reminded me of an incident from the life of St. Teresa of Avila. She’d been poorly treated, and she complained to Jesus about it. He answered her, “But Teresa! That’s how I treat My friends!”
She immediately snapped back “No wonder You have so few!”
Yet . . . how on earth could what happened to me be something positive? How could I see it as God treating me like one of His friends?
Then I remembered another difficult Bible verse: “I now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up those things that are wanting of the sufferings of Christ, in my flesh, for his body, which is the church” (Colossians 1:24).
St. Paul is telling us he actually rejoiced in his sufferings.
Okay. I can tolerate what happened. I can even get to the stage where, intellectually, I can thank God for it. But in all honesty, I don’t think I’m far enough along in my spiritual journey to where I can rejoice at being treated like last week’s garbage.
Definitely something I need to work on because, you know, suffering makes us more like Christ, and that is cause for rejoicing.
As for that young lady, I sincerely hope that if both of us make it to heaven, she’ll be glad to shake my hand then.
She might even allow me to give her a hug.

You can visit A. J. Avila’s blog at Reflections On My Catholic Journey