Category Archives: Family

Hierarchy by A.J. Avila

When you read the Bible, you can sometimes see a hierarchy in the way things are listed. For example, each list of the twelve apostles shows Peter first and Judas last.
There’s another hierarchy you can find in the Old Testament: the Ten Commandments. The initial three, often depicted by themselves on one stone tablet, deal with our relationship with God. And the very first one is the most important: “I am the Lord thy God; Thou shalt not have other gods before me.”
Further down the list, we see the hierarchy still in play. “Thou shalt not kill” is obviously more important than the prohibition against adultery, which is greater than the one against stealing, which in turn is more important than not lying. And you can see how those are of more concern than coveting, whether of your neighbor’s spouse or goods.
But then there’s this one Commandment that seems—at least by today’s standards–to throw a monkey wrench into the whole idea of such a hierarchy.
“Honor thy father and thy mother.”
It’s the fourth Commandment, right after keeping the Lord’s day holy and right above “Thou shalt not kill.”
Really? Honoring one’s parents is more important than not committing murder?
Yet that’s where God chose to place that Commandment. And God doesn’t make mistakes.
You’d never know, by watching any current television program, that God gives it such weight. When, for example, is the last time you saw a TV show in which a child honored his parents?
Instead, parents, it seems, are supposed to honor their kids, bending over backwards to win their children’s affection. Nowadays parents—especially conservative ones—are portrayed as idiots who need to learn how to love. A parent is supposed to not only accept but honor his child’s life choices, even if he is constantly breaking the sixth Commandment by having sex without the benefit of marriage. Anybody who doesn’t is portrayed as a cruel, doddering old fool standing in the way of true love.
Of course we should all show respect for each other, but I honestly don’t think parents honoring their kids’ sinfulness is what God had in mind when He wrote that Commandment, and especially when he chose to place it where He did.
But I digress. What I should really be looking at is how well I myself have kept that Commandment.
I have to admit I went through those ridiculous teenage years in which I thought my parents weren’t terribly bright–as if my life experience was so much greater that I knew better than they did. Mom and Dad, whom, when I was little, I had accepted as almost God-like, suddenly didn’t know their right from their left. How lucky for them that they had a teenage daughter who could set them straight.
Of course, as I got older, I realized I was the one who hadn’t been so bright.
As Mark Twain once put it, “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
Both of my parents are gone now. Dad died in 2001, and Mom followed him five years later. Sometimes I wish I could go back and show them the honor and respect I should have.
After all, God seems to think such honor is very important indeed.

You can visit A.J. Avila’s blog (Reflections on My Catholic Journey) at Reflections on My Catholic Journey

Consuming God’s Word – by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Consuming God’s Word – by Deacon Marty McIndoe
When I was growing up my father was very concerned about healthy eating. He had read several books about nutrition from Adele Davis and used the mantra “You are what you eat”. Adele Davis, and many nutritionists of the 1950’s and 60’s, used this phrase taken from Victor Lindlahr’s 1942 book of the same name. I heard that phrase over and over again. Dad grew almost all of our own food in his garden and went to local farmers to get eggs and chickens. Mom bought very little from the grocery store. The whole idea was that processed food and non-organic food was bad for you. Only wholesome, organic food should be ingested. It was a lot of work, caring for the garden and canning and freezing foods for the winters. I do think it was worth it. I am a pretty healthy person. We all know that the more we eat healthy food, the healthier we will be.
The Scriptures have some interesting things to say about eating God’s Word. Jeremiah 15:16 says, “When I found your words, I devoured them; your words were my joy, the happiness of my heart, because I bear your name, LORD, God of hosts”. In Ezekiel 3: 1-3 it says, “He said to me: Son of man, eat what you find here: eat this scroll, then go, speak to the house of Israel. So I opened my mouth, and he gave me the scroll to eat. Son of man, he said to me, feed your stomach and fill your belly with this scroll I am giving you. I ate it, and it was as sweet as honey* in my mouth. Then he said to me, Son of man, go now to the house of Israel, and speak my words to them”. And again in Revelation 10: 10 it says, “I took the small scroll from the angel’s hand and swallowed it. In my mouth it was like sweet honey, but when I had eaten it, my stomach turned sour”. Psalm 119: 103 tells us, “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Now I really don’t think that we should start tearing pages out of our bibles and eating them, but I do think that we should look in to these words of scripture telling us to consume His Word.
God’s Word that is given to us in the scriptures is a very precious gift. It is not given to us to put on to a shelf and look at only occasionally. It is a gift for us to use and consume every single day. Pope Benedict says to us, “We must rediscover a taste for feeding ourselves on the word of God, faithfully handed down by the Church, and on the bread of life, offered as sustenance for his disciples (cf. Jn 6:51). Indeed, the teaching of Jesus still resounds in our day with the same power: “Do not labour for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life” (Jn 6:27)…Belief in Jesus Christ, then, is the way to arrive definitively at salvation.” How true this is! The mass reflects this perfectly, first we feed on the Liturgy of the Word, and then we feed on the Liturgy of the Eucharist. The two go hand in hand; both the Word and the Eucharist our needed for our spiritual growth. We need both of them. For the Eucharist, we need to go to our church and receive it from our priests but we cannot take it home with us. God’s Word is different. We do receive it in church, but we also can receive it in our home with our own hands. With smart phones we can literally take it with us wherever we go.
Having God’s Word on a book shelf or even on a smart phone isn’t enough. We quite literally have to consume it and consume it often. Pope Francis tells us, “Be constantly nourished by the Word of God.”. He also says, “I would like so much for all Christians to be able to comprehend ‘the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus Christ’ through the diligent reading of the Word of God, for the sacred text is the nourishment of the soul and the pure and perennial source of the spiritual life of all of us.” We all need to be nourished, and to use my dad’s mantra, “You are what you eat” think about what you put in to yourself. Think about what you read and what you watch on TV and what you see in movies. Is this wholesome food, or junk food?
I challenge you to also think about your families. Family life seems to be hit hard by today’s society. In some ways it seems to be disintegrating in to nothingness. Bringing God’s Word in to your family for nourishment is so important. The family consumes so much junk from society; it is time to give it the good wholesome nourishment of God’s Word. Again Pope Francis tells us, “A Bible for every family! …Not to place it on a shelf, but to keep it at hand, to read it often, every day, both individually and together, husband and wife, parents and children, maybe in the evening, especially on Sundays. This way the family grows, walks, with the light and power of the Word of God!”
My friends, we are truly called to consume God’s Word and yet we often ignore it and often consume “junk food”. I believe that we can change the Family, the Church and the World if we consume God’s Word every day. If you are not already doing this, start it as soon as possible. There are many resources out there to help you. As Catholic’s we should make sure that we use Catholic resources to help us. I personally like THE WORD AMONG US and MAGNIFICAT for looking at the scriptures of the day. Don’t be afraid to do some prayerful reading of the Bible on your own. Use a good Catholic bible with footnotes to help you in this. Make sure that you ask the Holy Spirit to lead you and guide you. It is the same Holy Spirit that inspired the Bible. Consuming God’s Word involves both prayer and study. St. Pope John Paul II tells us, “Pray and learn to pray! Deepen your knowledge of the Word of the Living God by reading and meditating on the Scriptures”. It is certainly time for us to grow with good nourishment remembering that “You are what you eat”.

Social Media Magisterium by Shaun McAfee – A book review by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Shaun McAfee has done it again. This is his fourth book and like the others it is easy to read and very informative. It also offers very practical advice based upon the years of experience Shaun has had using Social Media. This is a book that all Christians should read. It clearly presents Social Media as the tool to use to spread the Good News of God’s love. The title should grab most Catholics (Magisterium), but I hope that all Christians read it. Never before has the Church had such a great means to spread the Gospel message as we have today because of the Internet and Social Media. It would be a sin (probably literally) for Christians not to use this.
I have always viewed media as a powerful tool for society. I was co-editor of my High School news and in college I was a radio newsman and radio disc jockey. I was a member of the National Honor Society for Communications and studied communications in college. All of what Shaun says in this book fits in with what I have learned. I was pleasantly surprised that in the beginning of the book he mentions Marshall McLuhan (the intellectual of communications studies), who I studied extensively, but only found out from Shaun that he was a Catholic of extraordinary faith and had a real devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. We never learned that in our studies. Marshall McLuhan really predicted the birth of the Internet 30 years before it began. He called it the “global village” that communications would forge. Today we have that global village and as the scriptures say in Luke 10:2, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest”. You and I need to meet that call.
This book will help you meet that call. Shaun starts out with a history of the many documents issued by the Church on media. He then gives a little background, or as he calls it, “re-introduction in Social Media”. Both of these chapters are great but his third chapter “The Media and the Family” impressed me greatly. All parents and grandparents will find this chapter interesting and judicious for their time spent in the family. There is no doubt that as good as the Internet is; it also has its dark side. Like any tool, it can be used for good or for bad. It can be under-used and over-used. This chapter looks at the use of the Internet and the affect it has upon family life. Don’t miss this chapter. You probably should read it twice. There is a lot of “meat” there.
The fifth chapter is on Ecumenism: Sharing the Idea of Unity. I absolutely loved this chapter. I am a convert to Catholicism and so is Shaun. He presented many ideas that I have thought about over the last 40 years. As a convert I know the great presence of faith within the Protestant tradition, but I also know of the great lack of Unity there. As a Catholic I recognize the truth of our faith and how in our faith we are called to always share the truth but also seek to deal with Protestants as our own brothers and sisters in the faith. Shaun does a great job showing how all of us, with the proper use of Social Media can do both. Social Media is not just for Evangelizing unbelievers, but is also great for helping all of us grow towards obtaining what Jesus prayed for; that all might be one.
The last chapters of the book give great practical advice to bloggers and really to all that use Social Media in any of its forms. This too should be a must read. Shaun has had a great deal of experience in the use of all forms of Social Media and his suggestions are great. He tells us of things to do and things not to do. Both of these are important to know. His suggestions, as practical as they are, also fit in to what the many Church documents call us to do. The sub-title of this book is “A No-Nonsense Guide to the Proper Use of Media”. This book certainly does this. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has used social media in any form or who plans on using it shortly. I think that covers just about everyone.
Note: I can’t help but to mention the cover of this book which is done by the very creative TJ Burdick. It is the very famous “Creation of Adam” by Michelangelo found on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. However, on the cover Adam is holding a cell phone showing its apps and God the Father is pointing towards it apparently ready to touch one of the apps. It is said that Michelangelo has God the Father pointing to Adam’s outstretched finger ready to impart the gift of life to him. Perhaps we can fast forward and say that God the Father has given us the Internet to continue to give life to mankind. I do think it can do that. In the original fresco God the Father is clothed and Adam is in full frontal nudity. However, on this book cover (back) the book bar code covers this up much better than a leaf would. Nice placement, TJ.

Embracing Death: The Ultimate Act of Faith and Trust – by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Death is something that all of us must face some day. It is not an option. It is something that we all have in common, no matter what our station is in life. In my 38 years of diaconal ministry I have ministered to many who are close to death. Some people are fearful of death and try to avoid it no matter what the cost. Others seem to welcome it and even embrace it. I hope that when my time comes, I too will be able to welcome it and embrace it. It seems that when we have lived a life of faith and especially of trust in Jesus, we naturally can welcome and embrace death for it is our ultimate act of faith and trust.
A couple of weeks ago a close friend of mine called me and told me that one of his very good friends, Peter (not his real name) was near death. My friend told me of how close he was to Peter and how this man had helped him in his faith journey and even in meeting his wife. Now Peter was dying from cancer and had some questions about the death process. My friend asked me to come with him to visit Peter and hopefully answer his questions. I, of course, said yes and went with him that day. When I went to this dying man’s home, I was greeted by his wife and grown children. They were there to support him. As soon as I went in to Peter’s room, I could tell that he was weak and probably would die fairly soon. The cancer had taken all of the strength out of him, but his mind functioned very well. The first thing that we did was to pray for a moment. He then asked me how long this process of dying would take and what to expect. I had the sense that he had hoped the time would be short, but that he was also unsure of the process of dying.
Now I knew from my friend that Peter was a man of faith. He was a good Catholic that had attended things like Christian Awakening weekends and Charismatic prayer meetings. My friend told me that Peter had invited him to a Christian Awakening weekend many years ago and it was at that weekend that my friend met his future wife and also met Jesus in a new and real way. That weekend was instrumental in making my friend in to the good Catholic man that he is today, thanks to the Peter’s invitation. Peter’s faith had carried him through many difficulties in life. Now, his faith and trust in Jesus had to carry him through the death process.
Since Peter’s first question was how long it would take for him to die, I answered him by telling him that none of us can really know. Doctors can give estimates during fatal illnesses, but these are at best only an estimate. I told him that the timing was in God’s hands, BUT, in my many years of ministering to the dying, I found that those who had told their families and had told God that they were ready to die seemed to die quickly. This man seemed very happy to hear that. I then went through with him our Catholic teaching on death and what awaits us (for further information see my previous article by clicking the link below). The dying man seemed to find peace in what I said. I then told him that if he were ready to die, he should first tell his family members who gathered around him and then tell God that he was ready. Peter put a small smile on his face. We then all prayed together around him, including a Hail Mary. I told him that I would stop by again in two days.
The next day my friend called me to tell me that his friend had died, in peace. I truly believe that he had made peace with his family and had told God that he was ready. I know in my heart that this man had accepted, and even embraced and welcomed death. His struggles with cancer were now over and he was in the arms of God’s love and mercy. Death is hard on those who are left behind. My friend is a really great man and strong in his faith but I knew that this death was hard on him. I do see how God helped my friend in this. The day that Peter died, my friend was out on a long bicycle trip with another friend that we have in common. Because both of them have difficult schedules, this day trip was planned about two months before. My friend received the call of Peter’s death in the middle of the bicycle trip. Fortunately our other friend was with him and this helped tremendously. He too is a man of faith and a good Catholic. The beauty of the weather and their journey through a park and along the ocean brought comfort to my friend. Plus he had a good friend, a man of God with him. God put all of this together.
My friend was asked to do the eulogy and was a little nervous about it. He took a day to work on it and the next day I called him and asked him out to breakfast. I knew that his wife was away on retreat that weekend and that he was all alone. We had a great breakfast and talked a lot about the deceased. I then went with him over to his house to listen to the eulogy that he had written. He did a great job on the eulogy and was thankful to me for spending the time with him that day. It helped bring him strength and comfort. My friend knew the power of God working through the friends that he had. It truly helped him with this difficult time and made him strong enough to deliver a great eulogy.
Death is difficult on all who go through it. However faith in our Lord and the ability to trust in him (I love the Divine Mercy picture of Jesus that tell us JESUS, I TRUST IN YOU) can bring us true freedom where we can accept and embrace and welcome death when it is our time. It also gives us the ability to deal with loss when a loved one dies. God is so good. He is the God of LIFE and peace and comfort and strength.

For a previous article on death and dying see:   http://deaconmarty.com/lord-of-the-dead-by-deacon-marty-mcindoe/

Memorial Day Reflection – by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Ecclesiastes 3:8 Tells us that there is “A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. “ Unfortunately there have been too many times for war and too many lives lost in war. Also, sadly there are too many lives affected by the losses of war. This includes not only parents, wives and children and other family and friends but also numerous innocent refugees. As General William T. Sherman has said, “War is Hell”.
This weekend our country pauses to celebrate Memorial Day. For many people it is a day off from work and a day to get together with family and friends and of course, to have a barbeque. I don’t see these things as wrong as long as we take the time to remember what this National Holiday is all about. Memorial Day is supposed to be a day of solemn remembrance of all of our soldiers who died serving the United States Armed Forces. It originally was celebrated following the Civil War and in 1971 became a National Holiday. Many people visit cemeteries to visit deceased soldiers. Many people also confuse it with Veteran’s Day when we remember all veterans. Memorial Day is to remember only those who died serving our country.
For Catholics, this should be a very special day. We should honor those who gave their life in service to others and remember Jesus’ words in John 15:13, “No one shows greater love than when he lays down his life for his friends.” It is also a day for us to pray for the deceased. We as Catholics know how important this is. There are many deceased soldiers out there that have no one to pray for them. We can step in and do this. It is also a day for us to look at all ways possible to work for peace rather than war. It is better for everyone to have a time of peace and not a time of war. It is also a time for us to help the poor and refugees who so often are adversely affected by war.
We as Catholics should be very concerned in promoting family life and teaching our children good values. Memorial Day (and the whole weekend) is a great time to go, as a family, to a Memorial Day parade and to go, again as a family, to visit a National Cemetery or visit a soldier’s grave in a regular cemetery. There is nothing better than going as a family to visit a deceased soldier father, grandfather, great-grandfather, uncle, etc. and talk about him or her to our children. It is also a great time to pray for that deceased relative and talk to our children about praying for the dead.
In summary, no matter what you do this weekend, please do not forget to remember and honor our deceased soldiers. When you have that great family Memorial Day Barbeque, stop and remember and pray. The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops shares with us a prayer from “Catholic Household Blessings and Prayers”:
God of power and mercy,
you destroy war and put down earthly pride.
Banish violence from our midst and wipe away our tears,
that we may all deserve to be called your sons
and daughters.
Keep in your mercy those men and women
who have died in the cause of freedom
and bring them safely
into your kingdom of justice and peace.
We ask this though Jesus Christ our Lord.
R/. Amen

 

Are You Really Ready to Win the Battle? – By Deacon Marty McIndoe


I was fortunate to have parents who saw that Scouting could be very beneficial to the formation of a child in to an adult. I was in Scouting from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts to Explorer Scouts (in High School). I learned a lot from them to help build my character. One of the primary things that they taught me was to BE PREPARED. This helped me in school, family and social life, in business, in being an Army soldier and especially in being a good Christian. I would like to look at BEING PREPARED as a Christian.
The question is, what are we supposed to be prepared for? There are several things but I find three that stand out the most. First of all we must be prepared for the LAST DAY. That last day may be when Jesus comes again, or more likely it will be when we die and go to meet him. We have a judgment to experience when we see Him face to face. All that we do as a Christian should lead us to be ready for this judgment. I am so happy that our God is a merciful God, but he is also a JUST God. Everything that we have said and done (and thought) or failed to do, will come before us; and we must answer for that. If we live out the words of Jesus and His Church, we should be prepared. The Church gives us the tools to prepare for this judgment. Those tools are the Sacraments and the Scriptures and prayers and examples of the Saints. We should use them to the fullest.
The second thing that we need to be prepared for is our battle against evil. For those of you who fail to believe in evil and the battle that we fight, you are sadly not prepared. The Church has always, from the very beginning, recognized the power of evil in the world. Our first Pope tells us: “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.” 1 Pet. 5:8-9. Unfortunately today, too many people dismiss the devil and demons and evil as old fashioned and untrue. The devil and his demons are real, and we need to fight them. The war is already won in Jesus, but Satan still continues to battle and tries to confound us. He attacks us in our weaknesses. We must use the tools that Jesus and the Church gives us to fight him. St. Paul tells us, “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Eph. 6:11-17. These words of St. Paul are so much more than words of wisdom; they are words to lead us in our battle with evil. Do you hear the battle cry?
The third thing that we need to be prepared for is sharing the Good News. This is what we are supposed to be doing as Christians. It should be so much a part of us that it just comes naturally. I will spend more time on this topic on another post, but it is so important that it needs to be placed in context with this post. Probably the best way we share the Good News is by being a good Christian.
Being a good Christian is hard enough on its own, but when you have the legions of evil and darkness trying to keep you from being a good Christian, it becomes even more difficult. However, God knows the battle we fight and if we use the tools He gives us, we overcome easily. I would like to share with you some of the ways that I have found to use these tools. First of all, You MUST make them part of a daily routine. Just as you start out the day by washing and grooming, the tools need to be sharpened and put to use. I find that my morning routine is most important.
Daily I wake up at 6:30 (even though I am retired and could sleep) and I first say a rosary carefully meditating on each mystery. I then go to the local YMCA for my morning workout (the physical body and spiritual self are very connected). I then go to daily mass early enough to sit in front of the Blessed Sacrament for 15 to 20 minutes. I then carefully pay attention and serve at mass asking the Lord to strengthen me to be the person He wants me to be. I see the Eucharist as such a precious gift to strengthen me for the journey and the battle. I then go home to eat breakfast with my wife (she also attends daily mass with me) and then I do my morning prayer (Liturgy of the Hours). The rest of the day I intersperse other prayers. These prayers vary from spontaneous forms of praise to the various hours of the Liturgy of the Hours. Every Tuesday I do Exposition and Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament. Each evening my wife and I pray together. All of this is a life giving experience for me. I never see it as a burden. I find my strength in this routine.
Throughout the day I love to give thanks and praise to God for the many beautiful things that happen. I love to see Him in the beauty of creation and the gift of other people. I also try to do a lot of spiritual reading such as the Bible as well as books from great Christian authors. In the evenings I “surf” many Christian/Catholic websites. I also try to continue my learning through the New Saint Thomas Aquinas Institute and ClaritasU. As I read this over it sounds like all I do is “religious” things, but that isn’t true. I enjoy many aspects of life and do many activities from going out with the guys to the local pub for beer, to visiting with friends with my wife. However, the “religious things” are what help to make me who I believe God calls me to be.
I know that Jesus wants us to live an abundant life (John 10:10) even though the thief (Satan) would love to snatch it away from us. When I immerse myself in prayer, the sacraments and good study, my life is abundant and Satan doesn’t have a chance to snatch it away from me. I am prepared; are you?

A Birthday Reflection of LIFE – by Deacon Marty McIndoe

My birthday is coming up in a few days and I was reflecting on that in prayer. The Lord reminded me what a very precious gift that LIFE is. I certainly enjoy life and try to celebrate it every day in every way that I can. I haven’t had a life without any problems, but I do see how even those problems helped me to better experience LIFE itself. I feel extremely blessed and I thank God for that gift. I also know that I have to thank my parents for that. Actually, I have been doing ancestral research ever since I did my DNA testing and I see that I have a lot more than just my parents to thank.
During my reflecting time I realized something quite challenging. I realized that I had been born in to a situation that could have very easily brought about the termination of my life. My mother married my birth father when she was just 20 years old. He had just come back from Europe after spending many years in the Army in WWII. He was one of the many who stormed the beaches at Normandy. When I visited Normandy several years ago I was confronted with the realization that he had been part of an extremely bloody battle. We lost almost 10,000 soldiers in the Invasion of Normandy. Fortunately my birth father was not one of them. My wife and I stood on the beaches at Normandy and she said to me, “Just think, if your birth father had been one of the many killed, you wouldn’t be here.” I then started thinking about those almost 10,000 men (probably more like boys) who were killed and all those children that they never were able to father. When you look at it that way you see how the casualties of war are so much greater than the numbers reported.
When my mother married my birth father at the age of 20, I am sure that she thought this was a marriage that would last forever and be filled with children. My mother became pregnant with me just a month after they married and I was born when she was just 21. As soon as my mother told my birth father that she was pregnant, he left her. He couldn’t handle the idea of having a baby. My guess is that he suffered from what they then called, “shell shock” and what we today call, “post traumatic stress disorder”. My mother had no idea where he had taken off to. Even his mother had no idea where he had gone. He just disappeared. It must have been so difficult on my mother to try to deal with a new husband who had left her in the beginning of her pregnancy. Her source of support was now missing. She probably thought about what “options” she might have, and even though it wasn’t legal then, abortion was common enough to be one of those options. I give thanks to God that she chose to continue nurturing and loving the LIFE inside of her. I also give thanks that she had parents that were able to welcome her in to their home. She moved in with my grandparents and lived there until she married again to my true father. I shared no DNA with him, but he legally adopted me and treated me and loved me as his son. God really blessed me.
Those first 9 years were difficult on my mom. She was a beautiful blond haired, blue eyed woman who could have lived a very active social life, but now she had to live with her parents and work hard to support me. She even shared a bed with me until I was about 5 and then had to sleep on the couch to give me her bed. She made many sacrifices for me and I could never thank her enough for all she had done. There is no doubt that aborting me would have been easier for her and given her a life style that most women that age wanted. But she chose LIFE and that is why I exist. Thank you Mom.
My wife and I were never able to have children. After much prayer, the Lord led us to adopt our daughter, who has been, and still is, a great joy to us. Again I was confronted with the gift of someone choosing LIFE and not abortion. My daughter’s birth mother was a High School Senior and only 17 years old when she became pregnant as a result of a summer romance. Certainly this was an inconvenient pregnancy, but she too chose LIFE instead of abortion. I know that it couldn’t have been easy on her to have this baby and to give up this baby but I am so glad that she did. I can’t picture my life without my daughter and the three grandsons that she has given us.
So after reflected on all of this, I can’t help but to shout out loudly CHOOSE LIFE and to absolutely denounce abortion. I feel for so many woman who become pregnant at a time that is not good for them. I just hope that they can find the courage and strength and support to give birth to their child. If they cannot keep them, I hope they consider adoption. It is a precious gift to another couple. Our God is a God of LIFE. I thank Him for my life and I thank Him for my mom and the birth mom of my daughter. I thank Him for all those who work hard to defend LIFE and all those who choose LIFE. LIFE is good. God is good.

On Trust and Forgiveness by A. J. Avila

On Trust and Forgiveness

Posted on December 16, 2017 by ajavilanovels

Growing up, I heard a lot of stories about World War II. The most bizarre one I ever heard, however, took place on our own shores.
It involved the man who would one day become my father-in-law. Jake (not his real name), was drafted into the army and sent to fight in Europe. Before he left, he arranged for his salary to be deposited into his brother’s bank account. His brother agreed that when he came back, the cash would be waiting for him. But if he didn’t return, there would be no question where the money was supposed to go, and there wouldn’t be any problems about a will and probate.
When he came back from the war, Jake asked his brother for his money.
And it was gone. His brother had spent every penny.
Maybe the brother was betting that Jake would die in action, so he figured he would get an early start on his inheritance.
Now, I don’t know about you, but if one of my siblings stole just one day’s wages from me, I’d be more than a little miffed.
This guy stole years of salary.
Amazingly, Jake forgave him, even though it meant he came back to the States totally broke.
Wait. It gets worse. You’d think the brother would do whatever he could to make it up to Jake, right? You’d think he’d work out a plan to repay him.
Nope. He never repaid a cent. He didn’t even attempt to repay any of it.
Years later, speaking about this, Jake just shrugged and said, “I guess he really needed the money.”
That’s the kind of man Jake was.
It reminds me of our debt to God. We’re supposed to do penance to make up for our sins. The problem, of course, is that no penance can totally make up to an infinitely good God for even the slightest of our sins. Yet, if we at least do what we can, He’s willing to wipe the slate clean by giving us indulgences.
I shudder to think what would happen if we didn’t at the very least try to do penance.
I was fortunate enough to marry the son of a man who was so Christ-like that he wiped out his brother’s entire debt.
I can always keep before me Jake’s example of love and forgiveness.

OUR LADY OF SORROWS by Deacon Marty McIndoe

I took this picture in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem.  It is right next to the place of Jesus crucifixion.  It shows Mary’s heart pierced with a sword.

On the day after we celebrate the Exaltation of the Cross, we turn to Mary and her Sorrows. The two are inseparable. The cross, the instrument of our salvation is exalted on one day. On the next day we see the sorrows of a mother’s love for her son. Our own lives here in this world are filled with so many times of exaltation and so many times of sorrow. We experience many joys, many triumphs, many difficulties and many sorrows. It is just what human living is all about. It does help us to know that our God, in the form of Jesus, knows through personal experience what rejection, difficulties, pain and even death is. It also helps us to know that we have a mother who can really understand our times of sorrow, because she too has experienced them.

One of the most precious gifts that God has given us is the gift of His mother (John 19:26). Just as she has experienced sorrow in seeing Jesus rejected and tortured and killed, she also experiences sorrow when she sees the difficulties and sorrows that we experience. As a loving mother, she is there with us to help us in our difficulties and sorrows. When we celebrate Our Lady of Sorrows, we celebrate with our mother a love that encompasses all things, especially the difficulties of our lives. She, and her Son, are always there to comfort us and assist us. Her love for us as her children is poured out in all of the good that we experience and in all of the bad. Jesus blessed us so much in sharing His mother with us.

Traditionally there are seven sorrows, or dolors, that are attributed to Mary. These are all based on various scripture accounts. I would like to list out these seven sorrows and give a brief reflection on each one. I would suggest that you read the scripture and then the reflection questions and then pray asking Mary for help and guidance and peace.

1 – The Prophecy of Simeon over the Infant Jesus (Luke 2:34): How often do we receive news that seems to indicate some kind of impending difficulty that we just don’t quite understand? Don’t we usually fret and worry about it? How often do we carry it with us for years just waiting for something bad to happen? Mary must have experienced that with the words of Simeon.

2 – The Flight into Egypt of the Holy Family (Matthew 2:13): How many people in the world have to leave the comfort of their homes heading to some unknown place? The number of refugees in the world due to war and famine and natural disasters is unbelievable. Mary knew what it was like to leave home to escape a tyrants rage. How often do you feel like you just are not at home?

3 – The Loss of the Child Jesus for Three Days (Luke 2:43): When Jesus was missing for three days, how difficult that must have been for Mary? Many people have lost their children due to runaways, drug and alcohol addiction and psychological disorders and often just to a lack of communication.. The pain and sorrow a parent feels due to this is crushing. Ask Mary to help. She understands.

4 – The Meeting of Jesus and Mary along the Way of the Cross (Luke 23:26): Have you ever seen your child in pain? This could be medical, emotional or depressive pain. Have you seen your child mistreated, or bullied or just picked upon? This causes so much sorrow to a parent. Mary knows all about this. Turn to her.

5 – The Crucifixion, where Mary stands at the foot of the cross (John 19:25): Have you had to watch your child slowly die. Unfortunately many parents have. Sometimes it isn’t even physical death. Sometimes it is depression or even a lack of ambition. Mary feels your pain and can help you with it. Turn to her.

6 – The Descent from the Cross, where Mary receives the dead body of Jesus in her arms (Matthew 27:57): So many parents have held their child in their arms when they died. Sometimes this is from a still born birth, or sickness or accident. How many parents have had their child die in a foreign war and wished that they could have held them for one last time? The pain is excruciating. Mary understands.

7 – The Burial of Jesus (John 19:40): Probably the worst thing that a parent can do is to bury their child. To see their child enter the grave and to know that you won’t be able to hug them and laugh with them or talk to them is so painful. Mary knows how this feels. She can bring help when we turn to her.

It is important for us to realize that Mary faced all of these difficulties because of her faith and because she trusted that God could work through all things. Our Lady of Sorrows is also Our Lady of Hope. We too are called to face our difficulties with faith that God works out all things. Even in the midst of our sorrows, we are called to be filled with hope.

From the Our Lady of Hope Novena:
But above all I pray, O dearest Mother, that through your most powerful intercession my heart may be filled with Holy Hope, so that in life’s darkest hour I may never fail to trust in God my Savior, but by walking in the way of His commandments I may merit to be united with Him, and with you in the eternal joys of Heaven. Amen.
Mary, our Hope, have pity on us.
Hope of the Hopeless, pray for us.

The Birth of Mary and the Protoevangelium of James by Deacon Marty McIndoe

If we asked most Catholics who Mary’s parents were they would probably answer Anna and Joachim. But if we look in the Holy Bible there is no mention of Mary’s birth or the name of her parents. So how do we know their names? The simple answer is through tradition. As Catholics, we believe that God reveals His truths to us through the Holy Bible AND through tradition. Tradition was sacred to the Jews (we all know that great song from Fiddler on the Roof) and is also sacred to us. St. Paul tells us to “stand firm and hold to the traditions which you were taught by us, either by word of mouth or by letter” (2 Thess. 2:15).
On September 8th we celebrate the birthday of Mary. This is exactly nine months after we celebrate the Feast of the Immaculate Conception on December 8th. This feast was celebrated no later than the 6th century. An eastern Saint, St. Romanos, a deacon who composed numerous liturgical songs, wrote a hymn celebrating the birthday of Mary. The hymn was quite popular and used in liturgies to celebrate the birthday of Mary which helped lead us to the feast day. The Eastern Churches first celebrated it and then within a century the Roman Church celebrated it. St. Romanos relied heavily upon the apocryphal writing, The Protoevangelium of St. James, in composing the lyrics to his hymn on the Nativity of Mary.
As an apocryphal writing, we must realize that the Church decided that this book was not inspired as scripture and it was not placed in the canon of the bible. However, this writing has been seen as a good source of tradition from the earliest times of the Church. Most scholars believe that it was composed around 145 AD. Because of this, and the language structure, we know that St. James did not write it. However it came from an area where St. James had followers and there may be some things passed on from him in the writing. In view of all of this, and with a certain amount of caution, I would like to share some of the points covered in the Protoevangelium concerning Mary and her birth and upbringing.
The Protoevangelium does repeat many items found in the scriptures concerning Mary and the birth of Jesus. But it adds details prior to that not mentioned in the sacred scriptures. It tells us that her parents were named Joachim and Anna and that Joachim and Anna were unable to conceive for many years and that both of them became depressed at not being able to have children. It tells us that Joachim became so depressed that he went out to the desert to live in solitude in a tent where he fasted for 40 days and 40 nights pleading with God. At the same time, Anna grieved not having Joachim with her and not being able to become pregnant. She prayed that God would bless her as He had blessed Sarah with Isaac. The Protoevangelium tells us that an angel appeared to Anna and told her that God had heard her prayer and that “you shall conceive and bring forth; and your seed shall be spoken of in all the world”.
About the same time, an angel appeared to Joachim and told him that God had heard his prayers. He was told to go to Anna and that Anna would conceive a child. Nine months later Anna gave birth to a little girl and they name her Mary. The Protoevangelium tells us that at the birth Anna said, “My soul has been magnified this day.” The writings go on to say that Mary walked at six months old. When she was one year old, Joachim held a great birthday feast for Mary and invited the priests, scribes and elders and all the people of Israel. The priests blessed Mary saying, “O God of our fathers, bless this child and give her an everlasting name to be named in all generations”.
The Protoevangelium tells us that at the age of three Joachim and Anna took Mary to the temple to be raised there hoping that her heart would be captivated by the Temple. When they gave her to the priest he kissed her and blessed her saying, “The Lord has magnified your name in all generations. In you, on the last of the days, the Lord will manifest His redemption to the sons of Israel.” The priest put her down on the third step and the grace of God came upon her and Mary danced with joy and the people loved her.
The Protoevangelium goes on to tell us that Mary stayed in the temple until she was 12 years old. At that time the chief priest received a visit from an angel while in the Holy of Holies telling him to assemble the widowers of the people and that God would give a sign as to which widower He chose for Mary. When all of the widowers assembled the High Priest again prayed to God for a sign to show which widower would receive Mary as his wife. When a dove appeared and landed on Joseph’s head, the high priest declared him to be the one who was chosen. At first Joseph declined saying that he had children and was an old man and it wasn’t good for him to take such a young girl. The chief priest reminded Joseph that it was God’s will and Joseph said to Mary, “Behold I have received you from the temple of the Lord; and now I leave you in my house and go away to build my buildings, and I shall come to you. The Lord will protect you”.
As interesting as all this is, we must remember that the Church refused to recognize the Protoevangelium as sacred scripture. We cannot be sure of any truth found here, but as I said earlier, this is a very early writing that passes on at least some of the tradition handed down about our beloved mother, Mary. It might help us imagine a little better the life of the most significant woman who ever walked the earth (and rule in Heaven). Hail Mary full of grace…….
As Saint Augustine said, “She is the flower of the field from whom bloomed the precious lily of the valley. Through her birth the nature inherited from our first parents is changed.”
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER MARY….WE LOVE YOU

 

Bringing Jesus to a 105 year old – by Deacon Marty McIndoe

This afternoon I had an absolutely wonderful experience. It all started last week when I was talking to a Eucharistic Minister who brings the Holy Eucharist to some people who are homebound. I asked her about an old friend of mine who used to come to our Charismatic prayer meeting many years ago. She was also always in church and I enjoyed talking to her. Her family has been very active in our church and community and I know so many of them.  It has been a while since she has been in church and I missed her. The Eucharistic Minister told me that this woman was doing well and has mentioned to her that she would love to see me.  I told the EM that I would love to go with her the next time she went.  Today was the day. It was to be a surprise visit.

I don’t want to mention this woman’s name, because I didn’t ask her for permission to use it. But I do want to tell you some interesting things about her and our visit and the presence of Jesus.  This friend has been homebound for several years. She has a really good excuse, she is 105 years old. When you see her she certainly doesn’t look her age. When you talk to her she seems so young at heart. Her mind is as sharp as a tack. When we first walked in her daughter (who I also know well), who didn’t know I was coming, greeted us with a huge smile and welcomed us in. We then went in to the room where the 105 year old was sitting at the kitchen table. The smile on her face when we walked in lit up this rainy, dark and dreary day. It was enough to absolutely warm your heart.

We spoke for a while reminiscing about old times in the prayer group and in the parish. I was so surprised at the details that she remembered. She seemed so happy to talk about the old times, but also seemed so happy about talking about her present life. She related how she loved Jesus and Mary and the prayers that she can offer. She was sad only because she couldn’t be a part of the church activities. She also was quite concerned for a dear relative who had fallen and broken some bones. We prayed for that relative.

After talking for a while, we prayed the rosary. She knew every prayer so well. She was so excited to tell me about her rosary. It seems that a friend of a friend had gone to Rome and had an audience with Pope Francis. This friend mentioned that he had a friend who was 105 years old and still prayed the Rosary. The pope then reached in his pocket and pulled out a rosary, blessed it and told the man to give it to the 105 year old.  That is the rosary that we used. It is absolutely beautiful and to know that the Pope had sent it to her, was very uplifting.

We then did what this person does every time before receiving the Sacred Host.  We prayed an Act of Contrition and then an Our Father.  She then received the Host with such a beautiful, warm, glow on her face. It was so moving to watch. We then talked for a while and prayed together.  I prayed for her specifically while laying on hands.  I also gave her and the EM and her daughter a blessing. Truth be told……I was the one who received the blessings.

So why do I bring this one occasion up? It is because things like this happen continuously in the Church. Bringing Jesus to the homebound (or nursing home etc.) is one of the most satisfying things a Minister of the Eucharist can do, whether they are ordained or an Extra-ordinary Minister. This last Sunday I brought the Eucharist to several people in one nursing home and then on Monday I brought the Eucharist to another nursing home.  The experience of doing that is so satisfying.

I really encourage all Eucharistic Ministers to reach out to the homebound and bring them Jesus.  So many EM’s help out at mass with the distribution of the Most Blessed Sacrament, and this is great and well needed in most parishes.  But an even better way to minister to people is by visiting the homebound. It is a ministry that brings Jesus to others and allows Jesus to come to you in a very special way. God is good.

Our Lady of Fatima at the United Nations –  by Deacon Marty McIndoe

The United Nations in New York City

On May 12th, the day before the 100th anniversary of the first apparitions at Fatima, my wife and I had the privilege of attending a special gathering at the United Nations in NYC entitled, THE CENTENARY OF FATIMA AND THE ENDURING RELEVANCE OF IT’S MESSAGE OF PEACE.   It was a most rewarding experience.  The Fatima apparitions have been the beginning of so many changes in the 20th century.  They began on May 13, 1917 just as Europe was immersed in WWI, a very devastating war and supposedly the “war to end all wars”.  It was also the year of the Bolshevik Revolution and the beginning of the Communist threats to the world.  The Blessed Virgin Mary appeared to three young shepherd children in a remote region of Portugal and gave a message of the need to turn to Jesus, do penance, and pray in order to keep further horrendous wars away.   Her message was filled with Hope and Love but also quite disturbing in showing the way the world was headed.   She was concerned with bringing Peace and Hope and Eternal Life to all of the peoples of the world by having them follow Jesus.

The conference itself looked at the message of Fatima and what had occurred since then.   There is still a great need for peace in our war torn world.  The threat of communism seems to be gone, but there are many other threats to world peace.   The conference had five speakers and lasted about two hours.   I would like to give a brief synopsis of what each speaker said.  There is no doubt that this 100 year old message from the Blessed Virgin Mary is still very relevant to us today.   All of the speakers were excellent in their content and in the emotional attachment to what they were saying.  Tears flowed from both men and women as they spoke.  I was impressed by the dedication of each speaker.

The Dais for the speakers.  The statue of Fatima is to the right.

Archbishop Bernadito C. Auza opened the conference and was the mediator.   He is the Permanent Observer of the Holy See to the United Nations.   His topic was “The Lessons of the Fatima Message of Peace for the Cause of Peace Today”.  The Archbishop recounted what had happened at Fatima and how it had led to many changes in the world.   He told the story of Pope John Paul II’s dedication to Fatima and how the Pope was very instrumental in the collapse of communism in Europe and in Communist Russia itself.   The Archbishop reflected the call for hope but also the need for continued conversion.   He was very pastoral in his tone, and appears to be an excellent representative of the Church to the United Nations.

Johnnette Benkovic was the second speaker.   Johnnette is the foundress and president of Women of Grace.   She is also an author and TV and radio host.   She is an excellent speaker and her topic was,   ‘Mary and the Dignity of Women’s role in a Culture of Peace”.   Johnnette did an excellent job of reminding us how women, who by their very nature are life giving and protecting, must work hard for peace.   She did say that women are not always fulfilling this role of working for peace and must step up to do so.   She definitely believes that women can be very instrumental in helping bring about peace.

The Statue of Our Lady of Fatima at the Dais.

Dr. Andrea Bartoli was the third speaker.   He is currently the Dean of the Seton Hall School of Diplomacy and International Relations.   His topic was “The Importance of Religious Leaders Serving as Examples of Peace, Tolerance, Solidarity and Justice”.   Dr. Bartoli shared several stories from his work in various nations to deal with the ravages of war.   He was quite emotional in sharing some of the things that happened to the people he was trying to help.   There was no doubt that this man is a man of faith and compassion who has worked hard to foster peace (he is an expert in conflict resolution) and to help those who suffer because of a lack of peace.   He challenged all, especially those who are religious leaders, to work hard for peace and to help those who are suffering from a lack of it.   His call was basically to be like Jesus.   We need more diplomats like him.

Dr. Maria Santos Pais was the fourth speaker.   She is the Special Representative of the Secretary General on Violence Against Children.   Her topic was, “Children as a Zone of Peace”.   Dr. Pais is from Portugal and it was apparent that she was well aware of the Fatima story.   She also seemed well aware of the terrible things that are happening to children throughout the world today.   Some of the statistics that she gave us were quite disturbing.   Dr. Pais was very clear in showing us that children are peacemakers, but unfortunately are often victims of the lack of peace.   She gave a very emotional talk.   Please pray for the children of the world.

The Shepherd Children of Fatima to whom Mary appeared.  Pope Francis proclaimed Francisco and Jacinta Marto Saints as he celebrated the 100th anniversary mass in Fatima.  Lucia only died in 2005 and her cause is pending.

Dr. Anna Halpine was the fifth and last speaker.   She is the Foundress and CEO of the World Youth Alliance.   Her topic was, ‘The Fatima Shepherd Children: the Role of Children in the Cause of Peace”.    Dr. Hapline did an excellent job of showing how these poor shepherd children responded so well to the call of the Blessed Virgin Mary.  She continued talking about children of the world living in such difficult situations.   Her talk was very complementary to the previous talk given by Dr. Pais.   The last two speakers helped us all to focus on those who suffer so much from a lack of peace, the children.  It is so sad to think that we have created a world where children suffer so much.

This sculpture is in the United Nations plaza.

In review, the conference was very much like the original message of Fatima.   It is disturbing in pointing out what mankind has done by war and by a lack of peace.   It also pointed out that we must work hard to accomplish peace.   There is hope, but we must actively seek it and work for it.   The message of Our Lady is very appropriate today.   We must seek Jesus, pray and do penance and work hard for peace.   Having this conference take place at the United Nations was quite encouraging.  The Statue of Fatima was brought there for this conference and then brought over to the Church of the Holy Family nearby.   This is the second visit of this statue to the United Nations.   It first came to the UN in 1952.  The Blessed Virgin Mary is most definitely the Queen of Peace.   May peace come forth to this world and may all peoples receive the gift of heavenly peace.  I end with the prayer that Mary taught at Fatima; O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, lead all souls to Heaven, especially those most in need of Thy mercy. Amen…

The Statue at Holy Family Church near the United Nations

 

BORED AGAIN CATHOLIC – How the Mass Could Save Your Life by Timothy P. O’Malley – reflections by Deacon Marty McIndoe

               You probably noticed that in the topic I called this a reflection, not a book review.  My purpose is to share with you how this book touched me.  I will leave a real book review to those more skilled in the process, like Pete Socks from Catholic Stand.  To begin with, you must know that I absolutely love the mass.  I am a daily communicant and I believe that the mass is the “source and summit” of my faith.  When I saw this book I immediately pre-ordered it.  I highly respect Timothy P. O’Malley as an author and he was writing about a topic that was dear to my heart.  I did worry about the first part of the title, BORED AGAIN CATHOLIC.   I saw it as a cute spin on “born again” but I never considered the mass boring.  The second part of the title was more to my liking, HOW THE MASS COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE.  I know this statement to be true.

               From the very beginning I saw what Timothy P. O’Malley was getting at in looking at the “boredom” of the mass.  He shows how there is good boredom and bad boredom.  The good boredom is the space where you can allow God to work.  In it we can ponder on the wonders of God at work in the mass.  The bad boredom is really a time where we allow ourselves unhealthy distractions from what God is doing.  The author gives great examples of good boredom and bad boredom.  He really makes you think about how the mind and its thought processes can lift you up spiritually.  There is no doubt that the author has a great love for the mass and for liturgy in general.  I see a lot of myself in him.

               The book takes just about every part of the mass and applies personal stories, as well as scripture and quotes from theologians, Saints, Popes etc. and creates a space for your own personal reflections.  It even includes questions at the end of each chapter to help you reflect on what was just given to you.  Some of the questions even challenge you to actions that will help you in better understanding the gift of the mass and liturgy.  I cannot think of any adult or teen that wouldn’t learn and grow by reading this book.  Whether you are a seasoned Catholic, or a new Catholic, this book is for you.  I can also see that it could be used to help non-Catholics better understand the mass (and hopefully decide that they too need the mass).

               As I said earlier, I am a daily communicant who really loves the mass.  This book gave me some new insights in to the mass and liturgy, even though I have been doing this since I became Catholic in 1973.  It gave me a better appreciation for the signs used in the mass.  His discussion of how when his mind might wander and then get caught up in the smoke rising from the incense in to the light of the sun made me better appreciate the use of incense (which we really do not use enough).  I loved the author’s suggestion of how we really should enshrine THE BOOK in our homes.  For many years we always kept a large bible open in a prominent area of our living room.  Somehow we got away from this.  I now plan on starting doing this again.

               I really loved the chapter dealing with the homily.  As a person who often does both weekday and Sunday homilies, I was moved by what Dr. O’Malley said.  He recalled how one day he took his toddler to the back of the Church because the toddler was fussy.  He admitted that he himself was fussy because the homily was not on target and was too long.  He recalled that the homily was not on target because it did not connect to the Gospel.  It was filled with too many personal stories.  Now, I have no problem with some personal stories, but I realize that everything that I say during a homily must connect to God’s word.  I recalled what was said to me by the Bishop who was ordaining me.   He handed me a book of the Gospels and said, “Believe what you read, Teach what you believe, and Practice what you teach”.  I actually keep a small plaque on my desk saying this so that I always remember what being a deacon is all about.  We too often hear that the Catholic Church suffers from poor homilies.  Actually, I have been lucky that the bishops and priests and deacons that I have been exposed to usually give great homilies.  This book inspired me to be better in my preaching.  It also reinforced my love of liturgy and the mass.  I know that I could tell you more, but I really believe that the best thing that I can tell you is to go out and get the book and read it.  Actually, don’t just read it, ponder it.  God is so good.  Thank you Dr. Timothy P. O’Malley for this gem.

COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT by A.J. Avila

Complaint Department  (Link to original post)

Posted on November 29, 2016 by ajavilanovels  (link to A.J. Avila’s blog)

Why does it seem to be human nature that our first instinct is to complain?

Take, for example, my husband’s gripe that the Swiss cheese I bought didn’t have enough holes in it. That’s right: he complained that it didn’t have enough nothing.

Why do we see the negative so much more readily than the positive?

I sure got an earful of it the time my parents asked me to pick them up when returning from a vacation in Hawaii. I had invited my brother to come with me to the airport, and as we were watching passengers disembark from the plane, I nudged him. “You know what?” I said. “After we get the luggage, I’ll ask Mom and Dad how their trip was. I bet they say nothing good about it at all.”

“You’re on,” he answered.

Eventually our folks showed up, and after the customary greetings, we gathered their luggage and found the car. My brother sat up front with me, and my parents took the two back seats.

“So,” I said as we exited the parking lot, “how was your trip?”

Well, you would have thought it was a vacation in Hell itself instead of a tropical paradise. The plane ride going out was bumpy, and the one coming back was worse. The hotel room was dirty, and the window faced away from the ocean. Prices were horribly high, and the food was terrible, especially the poi.

[SIDENOTE: Okay, I have to give them that last one. Poi does taste terrible.]

During the trek home, my parents recounted in detail their horrendous experience, and the story got worse the farther we drove. My brother and I, occasionally glancing at each other, had to restrain giggles at my prediction about their predicament. I actually had to bite the inside of my cheeks to keep from bursting into laughter.

Yet . . . to be fair, how many times have I spent all my energy complaining instead of complimenting?

I used to work at a bookstore, and my manager told me that studies had shown that if a customer had a complaint, he was likely to repeat it to something like a dozen persons. On the other hand, if he had a compliment, he was likely to repeat it to maybe a couple of people.

In other words, when we are happy with something, instead of expressing gratitude, silence is usually the norm. I have to admit I have been exceedingly guilty of such silence.

When I realized this about myself, I resolved to take steps to alter my attitude. So now, if I, for example, eat at a restaurant, besides leaving a tip, I also leave a bit of praise about my meal. If I stay at a hotel, along with my room key, I drop a compliment at the front desk. A comment on how well the checker at my local store processed my order costs me not a cent and only a moment of my time.

When I started doing this, I admit I was a bit shocked at how eyes would widen and jaws drop. And that reaction was always followed by the blossoming of a smile.

Why is it so hard to do this? Take just a moment to make somebody’s day?

The truth is that it’s not.

So I guess my only complaint is about doing nothing but complaining.

Forgiveness, a Truly Miraculous gift by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Detective Steven McDonald and his son, NYPD Officer Conor McDonald.

               In a previous post I talked about miraculous healings that have occurred in the scriptures and throughout history in to this present day.  I even shared some that I personally witnessed; but what about the person that doesn’t seem to receive a miraculous healing?   Does that mean that God has ignored him or her or that God is not at work?   First of all I think that God is at work in all things.  Secondly, what we see as a lack of healing, or lack of a miracle, is just another way that God has chosen to work.  Often the real miracles are those that are not apparent.  I would like to give you an example of this in the Life of Detective Steven McDonald of the New York Police Department.

               On July 12, 1986, New York Police Officer Steven McDonald went in to Central Park with Sergeant Peter King as part of their normal, everyday duties.  They were on alert for petty crimes as well as looking for clues to a recent string of bicycle thefts in that area.  They saw a group of suspicious looking teens who began to run as soon as they saw the police.  The police officers chased them, Steven McDonald going in one direction, and his partner in another direction.

               Steven McDonald stopped several of the boys to question them.  He tells us that he spotted a bulge in the sock of one of the youngest boys and believed it to be a gun.  He bent over to examine it and a tall 15 year old boy came and pointed a gun at the police officer’s head.  Officer McDonald said that he then heard a deafening explosion, saw a muzzle flash and felt the bullet strike him just above his right eye.   He immediately fell flat and the boy shot him a second time hitting him in the throat.  Then, while still lying on the ground, the boy shot him a third time.  Officer McDonald recalled, “I was in pain; I was numb; I knew I was dying, and I didn’t want to die. It was terrifying.  My partner was yelling into his police radio: “Ten Thirteen Central! Ten Thirteen!” and when I heard that code, I knew I was in a very bad way. Then I closed my eyes…”

               When the first officers to respond arrived on the scene, they found Sergeant King on the ground, covered in Steven’s blood, cradling him in his arms.  Sergeant King was crying. They knew that every second counted so they carried Steven into the back of their vehicle and rushed him to Harlem’s Metropolitan Hospital, twenty blocks away.  There the medical staff saw the severity of the shooting and worked hard to stabilize him.  They did not expect him to live.  The Chief Surgeon told the Police Commissioner, “He’s not going to make it. Call the family. Tell them to come say goodbye.”   But Steven’s will to live stood firm.  His survival is a miracle itself, but his injuries left him completely paralyzed from the neck down.  He couldn’t even breathe on his own.

                 Officer McDonald had been married just eight months to his 23 year old wife, Patti Ann.  She was three months pregnant.  Together they would have to face the unbelievable changes that being paralyzed causes.  Not quite fair for a young married couple.  It would be very easy for them both to be filled with self pity, hatred and spite.  But these two practicing Catholics decided to choose another course.  At Detective Steven McDonald’s funeral, 30 years after his attack, Mayor Bill de Blasio said that Steven McDonald inspired New York City by choosing a spiritual journey over self-pity and spite.  He inspired not only NYC, but the world.  To me, Steven McDonald exemplifies how God can work, even in the worst of situations.  I know it was a miracle that he survived, but there was no miracle to bring him healing of his paralysis.  Perhaps the biggest miracle is what Steven did with his life.

               About six months after being brutally assaulted with gunfire by Shavod “Budda” Jones, Officer Steven McDonald made a statement, through his wife, saying, “I forgive him and hope he can find peace and purpose in his life”.  This defined the rest of McDonald’s life.  Jones was sentenced to ten years in prison for attempted murder.  McDonald said, “Strangely we became friends. It began with my writing to him. At first he didn’t answer my letters, but then he wrote back. Then one night a year or two later, he called my home from prison and apologized to my wife, my son, and me. We accepted his apology, and I told him I hoped he and I could work together in the future. I hoped that one day we might travel around the country together sharing how this act of violence had changed both our lives, and how it had given us an understanding of what is most important in life.”  However, three days after his release from jail, Jones died in a motorcycle accident.  That hope was never realized, but McDonald continued his crusade for forgiveness and peace.

               The New York City Police Department kept McDonald on their roster in a special position.  He was eventually promoted to the rank of Detective.  Pat Lynch, president of the Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association called McDonald “a true American hero.”   At his funeral Lynch said, “Steven McDonald was the most courageous and forgiving man I have ever known.  Despite the tremendous pain in his life, both physical and emotional, his concern for his fellow police officers and for the people of New York City never wavered. Since that fateful day in 1986, Steven dedicated his life to fighting hate and encouraging forgiveness through his actions. He was a powerful force for all that is good and is an inspiration to all of us. His, was a life well lived. We join his family, a true New York City police family, his friends and fellow officers in prayer and mourning the loss of a truly special man.”

               The influence of Detective McDonald was felt not only in New York, but worldwide.   He took his message of forgiveness and peace to Northern Ireland, Bosnia and Israel.  He met with world leaders such as Pope John Paul II and Nelson Mandela.  He spoke at two Republican National Conventions.  He was interviewed by Barbara Walters on TV and attended many civil and religious functions in his area.  I was fortunate to see and hear him and can attest to the fact that he was a man of deep faith, and love of God and His people.  He was a die-hard hockey fan of the New York Rangers.  His relationship over the years with them has been a source of real blessing to so many.  The Rangers named an award in his honor.

               About six months after the shooting, Steven’s son Conor was born.  Conor followed in the footsteps of his father and grandfather and great-grandfather in becoming a NYC Police Officer.  I have a good friend who is a NYC Police Officer who worked with Conor and praised him for being such a good person and good Police Officer.  A family of faith and desire to serve keeps bringing forth good men.  In an article by Johann Christoph Arnold, he states,

                              “When visiting Steven in his Long Island home (since meeting in 1997, we have become close friends), I am often struck by the extent of his incapacitation. Life in a wheelchair is hard enough for an elderly person to accept, but to be plucked out of an active, fun-loving life in your prime is devastating. Add to that a tracheotomy to breathe through and total dependence on a nurse and other caregivers, and life can seem pretty confining at times. Steven is matter-of fact about this:

                              “There’s nothing easy about being paralyzed. I have not been able to hold my wife in my  arms for two decades. Conor is now a young man, and I’ve never been able to have a catch with him. It’s frustrating – difficult – ugly – at times.”

                              So why did he forgive? Again, he himself says it best:

                              “I forgave Shavod because I believe the only thing worse than receiving a bullet in my spine would have been to nurture revenge in my heart. Such an attitude would have extended my injury to my soul, hurting my wife, son, and others even more. It’s bad enough that the physical effects are permanent, but at least I can choose to prevent spiritual injury.”

                             ” When I was a very young kid, Dr. King came to my town in New York. My mother went to hear him speak, and she was very impressed by what she heard. I hope you can be inspired by his words too. Dr. King said that there’s some good in the worst of us, and some evil in the best of us, and that when we learn this, we’ll be more loving and forgiving. He also said, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it’s a permanent attitude.”  In other words, it is something you have to work for. Just like you have to work to keep your body fit and your mind alert, you’ve got to work on your heart too. Forgiving is not just a one-time decision. You’ve got to live forgiveness, every day.”

               This is a lesson that the world needs to take in.  Steven McDonald spoke and lived out that lesson.  Sure, it was a miracle that he lived through the gunshots and it would have been a great miracle if he could have been freed from his paralysis, but to me the greatest miracle is what Steven did for so many other people working through his disabilities.  His faith and desire to spread the message of forgiveness and peace resounds throughout the world.

               Detective Stephen King, New York City Police Officer, husband, father, devout Catholic and ambassador of forgiveness and peace died of a heart attack on January 10, 2017 in his Long Island home.  His life continues to touch many.

              

 

 

              

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton and How She Personally Brought a Miracle to My Family by Deacon Marty McIndoe

               January 4th is the feast day of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton.  She is the first native born American to be canonized the Church.  She is a convert, was married with children, and the woman who started the first Catholic School in the United States.  She was a prolific reader and loved the scriptures and the Eucharist and the Blessed Virgin Mary.  She also gave me the gift of my daughter (see below).

               Elizabeth was born two years before the American Revolution and was from the upper class of New York City.  She married a wealthy man and was extremely happy for many years.  Unfortunately, her husband became quite ill and lost his import business.  She cared for him and his younger siblings when his parents died.  Elizabeth brought her sick husband to Italy to help his health, and they stayed with friends, but he finally died there from tuberculosis.  While in Italy she was influenced by their friend’s Catholic faith and converted to Catholicism.  She returned to the United States to settle in Baltimore.  There, at the suggestion of the president of St. Mary’s College, Elizabeth started a secular school.  It didn’t take long for Elizabeth to decide to change it to a Catholic School.  She started an order of sisters known as the “Sisters of Charity” (following closely the rule of St. Vincent de Paul in France) who helped children by establishing schools and orphanages.  Even though Mother Seton contracted tuberculosis herself, she worked tirelessly guiding the order.  Mother Seton died in 1821 at the age of 46, only sixteen years after becoming Catholic.  She was beatified by Pope John XXIII in 1963 and canonized by Pope Paul VI on September 14th, 1975.

               Mother Elizabeth Ann Seton is very special to me.  I attribute the gift of our daughter to her.  My wife and I desperately wanted children but after many years of trying and then going to doctors, we decided that God wanted us to adopt.  The doctors never found anything wrong with either of us, but we were never able to conceive.  Back in the 70’s it was very difficult to adopt.  I didn’t have the money to go through a private adoption and I was worried if we would ever have any children.  One day, both my wife and I felt, through prayer, that the time was right for us to go through an agency to try to adopt a baby.  We really wanted a newborn, but most agencies just laughed when we told them.  However, we felt inspired to not give up and to keep trying.  We called the Long Island Adoption Services number and they told us to give a call to New York Foundling Hospital in Manhattan.  They said that this hospital offered classes twice a month on ways to adopt.

               When we called NY Foundling Hospital, the woman on the phone seemed so excited.  She told us to come in to the next meeting that they were having on September 14th, 1975.  We signed up for that and drove in that day.  We found ourselves in a room with eleven other couples and one single person.  The social worker came in and said she would explain different ways to go about adopting.   She first said that she would show us pictures of some older children that were awaiting adoption.  Most of them were special needs children that really tugged on your heart.  They were also older children.  She then explained ways that you could adopt younger, normal (I really don’t like that word, but that is what she used) children.   At that time, Korean children were popular and she explained how to get them.  She also told us that there were a number of black American children available and how to get them.  She then paused for a moment, quite dramatically, and said that she had something very important to tell us.  Both Martha and I were sitting there a little stunned by all that had been presented to us.  We were quite curious what was left to tell.

               The social worker said to us that for the first time in about eight years, their “white infant” list was growing short.  Their adoption committee decided that they could not advertise that they were taking new names for this list because too many would apply.  Since they placed only two or three babies per year, they decided to open the list only to the people who showed up at the next adoption class, the one we were attending.  Martha and I both looked at each other, recognizing that this was no coincidence that we were here.   We knew God was at work.  We immediately put our names in and were told that we would be contacted in within 30 days by a social worker.  Martha and I walked out of the class and went downstairs and went in to the chapel to thank God.  We knew we were there as part of His plan.   I remember a large statue of Elizabeth Ann Seton just outside the chapel.   If I didn’t know better, I would have thought that she winked and smiled at us.  We later found out that New York Foundling Hospital was operated and founded by the Sisters of Charity who were founded by Elizabeth Ann Seton.   We were told that the process could take several years, first we had to be checked out, and then we had to wait until we were next on the list and a baby arrived.  Martha and I drove home to Long Island praising and thanking God.

               A little before Christmas in 1976 we were called and told we were next up.  It was a great Christmas for us.  On January 4th, 1977, we were called and told that our daughter was born the day before and we could pick her up at New York Foundling Hospital on January 7th.  I looked on the calendar and we were called on the Feast of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton.  We had remembered that when we were driving in to the initial session in September 1975 at New York Foundling, the radio was covering the news that Elizabeth Ann Seton was just canonized that day.  We had received our daughter through the Sisters of Charity, the order she founded.  We saw the hand of God at work in all of this and felt that St. Elizabeth Ann Seton was an integral part of his plan, and knew we had to name her Elizabeth Ann McIndoe.  Our social worker told us that she had been doing this for many years and had never seen a baby go to a couple that shared so much of the same ethnic background as the child.   Not only was our daughter from basically the same Irish, English and a little Italian background, but her mother was Catholic and her father protestant, just as Martha and I had been.  Our social worker told us that Elizabeth’s birth mother became pregnant in High School and would not abort her baby due to her Catholic faith.  I thank God that her birth mother saved her life and offered her for adoption.  She was a very strong, faith filled young woman.  Our social worker told us that many of the babies that they placed were born to drug addicted mothers and needed special medical help.  Elizabeth was born from a drug free mother and in perfect health.   God is so good. 

               The evening before we had to pick our daughter up in Manhattan a winter storm was brewing.  We woke up to find about 11 plus inches of snow on the ground.  The roads were not good and we had to drive almost 60 miles in to the city.   I called the hospital and told them that we planned on coming no matter what the weather.  It was a slow trek in to the city, but we made it.  Nothing was going to stop us from getting our daughter.  A last worry was parking near the hospital.  If anyone has been to NYC, they know that parking is always a problem.   When you have a snow storm, it becomes much worse as there is no place to put the plowed snow.  I remember coming up to the hospital, praying that God would get us a parking spot close to the hospital.  Just as we pulled up to the entrance we needed, a parked car pulled out and gave us a place.  God answers prayer, even for parking spots.

               We drove home with our little miracle adopted baby.  We were so very happy.   To this very day, exactly 40 years later, our daughter has brought us so much joy.  She has also given us three wonderful grandsons who light up our life.  There has never been a time that I haven’t thanked God for the precious gift he gave us, through adoption, of our daughter, Elizabeth Ann.

               Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton, we thank you for your role in bringing us our FANTASTIC daughter.  God works through His Saints.  God is so good!

 

 

 

12 Facts about Saint Padre Pio by Deacon Marty McIndoe

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The incorrupt body of Saint Padre Pio.

1 – BIRTH AND FAMILY:  Padre Pio was born Francesco Forgione in Pietrelcina, Italy on May 25, 1887. He was the fourth of eight children of Grazio Maria Forgione and his wife, Maria Giuseppa De Nunzio.  His family was very religious and attended daily mass.

2 – SHEPHERD AND CAPUCHIN PREPARATION:  In his youth, Padre Pio tended a handful of sheep. At the age of ten he contracted typhoid fever and nearly died. After his recovery he wished to become a Capuchin friar, and his father thereafter spent several years in sailing back and forth to America (a common practice at that time) to obtain work in order to finance more schooling for Padre Pio, in preparation for the priesthood.

3 – CHILDHOOD VISIONS AND VICTIM OF DIVINE LOVE:  In childhood Padre Pio experienced paranormal visions with such frequency that he took the episodes for granted and assumed that others experienced similar phenomena. He confided this information only later in life to a priest and was surprised to learn that such occurrence is rare. Padre Pio also suffered from a desire to be a “victim of divine love,” a religious concept whereby a person wishes intensely to endure constant and severe suffering, to atone for the failings of mankind.

4 – BECOMES A FRANCISCAN (CAPUCHIN):  On January 6, 1903 at the age of 16, he departed to the town of Morcone to join the friary of Saints Philip and James of the Capuchin Order of the Friars Minor, a “mendicant” order. (Capuchins live in poverty by design; they own nothing and live essentially as beggars in the world.) To symbolize their poverty Capuchins never shave their faces and never wear shoes—only open leather sandals. They never wear hats but attach brown woolen hoods to their garments. They spend a significant portion of each day in prayer, maintain long periods of silence, and always travel in pairs. At the friary, Padre Pio lived in a cell furnished with a table, chair, washstand, and water jug; he slept on a cornhusk mattress. He received the Capuchin garments in a ceremony on January 22, 1903. On that day the former Francesco Forgione adopted the name of Padre Pio of Pietrelcina.  As a symbol of austerity, Capuchin friars never used surnames, thus for legal purposes Padre Pio signed his name as “Padre Pio of Pietrelcina al secolo Francesco Forgione.”  He took the name of “Pio” in honor of Pope Pius I, whose relic he often saw at his local chapel.

5 – SUFFERING SERVANT ORDAINED A PRIEST:  Throughout his lifetime Padre Pio suffered from a severe but undiagnosed stomach disorder that caused persistent pain and vomiting. Beginning in December of 1908 his superiors sent him home on numerous occasions. Inexplicably the symptoms disappeared each time he departed the friary; transfers to friaries at other locations failed to alleviate the symptoms. At the age of 23 he traveled from his hometown of Pietrelcina to the cathedral of Benevento in Morcone. There Archbishop Paolo Schinosi ordained Padre Pio as a Roman Catholic priest on August 10, 1910.

6 – RECIEVES STIGMATA:  Padre Pio developed marks of stigmata initially in 1910 at San Nicandro.  A doctor examined Padre Pio and diagnosed tuberculosis of the skin. Following the medical diagnosis Padre Pio returned to his hometown for a time. On October 28, 1911, he moved to the friary of San Nicandro at Venafro, where Padre Agostino was vicar. Padre Pio was personally humiliated by the painful markings and kept his hands hidden at all times. The wounds disappeared for a time, only to reappear more acutely nearly a decade later.  The Stigmata reflects the wounds of Jesus on the cross.  The hands and feet and side all bleed.   Padre Pio was the first Priest to receive the Stigmata (St. Francis of Assisi was a Deacon).

7 – VISIONS AND BI-LOCATION AND LEVITATION:  Padre Pio received visitations from the Virgin Mary, Jesus, and angels. In addition to the visitations and stigmata, Padre Pio was reportedly prone to bi-location phenomena, appearing in two locations simultaneously. The most remarkable of these reported incidents occurred on January 18, 1905 shortly before midnight. Padre Pio was in the choir at the friary when, according to his description, his mind traveled to a location in Udine where a child was being born prematurely just moments before the death of her father. In 1923 he met the girl and “recognized” her. The girl’s mother recalled very clearly the death of her husband and the vision of a Capuchin monk in Udine on the night when the girl was born.  Also, Padre Pio had been observed levitating during a period of prayerful ecstasy.

8 – PADRE PIO AS AN ARMY PRIVATE:  With the outbreak of World War I in November 1914, many Capuchins were drafted into the Italian army. Padre Pio was drafted into the 10th Company of the Italian Medical Corps in Naples, under the name of Private Francesco Forgione. His stomach discomfort continued, and army doctors diagnosed chronic bronchitis. They granted him a medical leave of absence, and he returned to Pietrelcina.

9 – STIGMATA FOR LIFE:  Beginning in August 1918, Padre Pio developed permanent, painful stigmata that bled intermittently for the next 50 years and disappeared only a few days before his death. A series of doctors examined the wounds of Padre Pio and verified the existence of the condition, but left no written comment or explanation. Luigi Romanelli, chief physician of the City Hospital of Barletta, examined the priest’s wounds five times over the course of one year. Professor Giuseppe Bastianelli, physician to Pope Benedict XV agreed that the wounds indeed existed but made no other comment. Angelo Maria Merla of San Giovanni Rotondo noted that the wounds were not tubercular in origin. The wounds bled severely at times, although medical examiners reported no fever, nor anemia or change of blood pressure associated with the condition. According to witnesses the wounds of Padre Pio emitted a distinctively fragrant odor, and all other abrasions to Padre Pio’s body healed normally during those years, including an incision to repair a hernia.  As with the earlier incident, Padre Pio felt humiliation at the visible stigmata, but stated nevertheless that he welcomed the pain for all mankind; his greatest wish was to die.

10 – POPULARITY, VATICAN INTERVENTION AND PROPHECY OF A FUTURE POPE:   Padre Pio became very popular with the people he encountered.  They began to see that he was capable of performing miracles.  Many healings were attributed to him.  His popularity became a source of concern for the Church and the Vatican began to restrict his activities to minimize public interaction. Padre Pio himself was uncomfortable with his newfound popularity and the attention he received because of his stigmata. A Church investigation into his stigmata concluded that his condition was not faked.  By 1934, the Vatican began to change its attitude towards Padre Pio and he was again allowed to perform public duties. He was allowed to preach, despite never being officially licensed by the Church to do so. Pope Pius XI encouraged people to visit him.  In 1947, Fr. Karol Wojtyla visited Padre Pio who prophetically told him he would rise to the highest post in the Church.” Fr. Karol Wojtyla became Pope John Paul II in 1978.

11- INTERNATIONAL FAME:  Padre Pio became internationally famous. He was known for his piety, charity and the quality of his preaching. He famously advised, “Pray, hope and don’t worry.”  Besides his stomach problems and stigmata, he had other illnesses as well, including cancer which was miraculously healed after just two treatments.  However his arthritis, which plagued him in his later years, never went away.

12 – DEATH AND SAINTHOOD:  Padre Pio died of an apparent heart attack at the friary of Our Lady of Grace in the Italian village of San Giovanni Rotondo on the morning of September 23, 1968. Over 100,000 people attended his funeral.  After his death, the friars and other associates were eager to begin the lengthy process of canonization, whereby the mystic might be named a saint of the Catholic Church. Pope John Paul II beatified the memory of Padre Pio at a Mass on May 2, 1999 in St. Peter’s Square in Vatican City, as a final step in preparation for sainthood.  Pope John Paul II recognized Padre Pio as a Saint on June 16, 2002.  Over 300,000 people attended.  His feast day is September 23. He is the patron of civil defense volunteers, adolescents, and the village of Pietrelcina.

Based on information from encyclopedia.com and Catholic.org.  Photo by Doug Lawrence

 

 

 

3 EASY THINGS EVERY DAD SHOULD BE DOING – By Adam Minihan

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Full disclaimer, I am a “new dad”.  I don’t have 5, 10, or 15 years of experience under my belt. I have 4 children, a 3 year old son Luke, a 1.5 year old son Jude, one baby in heaven, and one baby on the way! I am constantly learning how to be the best dad I can be, with many of these learning moments coming from my faults. With that being said, I am not writing this attempting to fool anyone into thinking I have this whole dad thing figured out (I mean, we haven’t even hit the rebellious teenage years yet.).  Nonetheless, I write this with conviction as I have witnessed many authentic, God-fearing, wife-loving, child-raising fathers in my life, my own father being a prime example.

Here’s 3 easy things every dad should be doing:

1. Love your wife. Children are so observant. I am constantly amazed when I hear one of my boys attempting to hum a song I was humming 2 minutes ago.  Or after dinner when I start taking dishes to the sink, being followed by Luke and/or Jude, with a cup in hand, hurling his cup into the sink attempting to do his part. Our kids watch and replicate so many of our actions which is why they need to see their dad loving their mom.  My sons will learn how to treat women by observing how I treat their mother.  Likewise, if I am blessed to have a daughter(s), she will learn how she should be respected and the inherent dignity she has as a woman by the amount of respect and dignity I show her mother.

2. Have family prayer.  Servant of God Father Patrick Peyton famously said, “The family that prays together stays together”.  If you don’t have a family prayer routine, start small and continue building up. As the spiritual leader of the home, lead your family in prayer before meals. At first it may seem awkward and uncomfortable but typically that discomfort is only on your end. Push through that discomfort and it will soon become as natural as breathing.

When it’s the kiddo’s bedtime, we all have nightly routines. Take a bath, brush teeth, comb hair, get pajamas on, and maybe a bedtime story. Before that bedtime story, you, your wife and children kneel down by their bed and have a bedtime prayer. It can be as simple as, “Now I lay me, down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.” It’s quick and easy but sets an example of praying before bed… an example that I carried on from when my parents taught me.

3. Bless your children. Before my boys go to sleep or any time I have to leave for a couple days on business, I make the sign of the cross on their forehead while praying, “May almighty God bless and keep you and may you always stay under the protection of our Mother Mary.” It’s quick and simple. Takes me all of 5 seconds. Our Lord ordained men as heads of the Domestic Church, which is a miniature of the Universal Church. This means each man is a priest of his home. A great way to embrace the role as a priest of your family is by blessing your children. My boys have come to love and expect this nightly ritual and always give me a happy grin as I pray it. (For a great book on this topic, Click here.)

 


About Adam Minihan:
Adam is the Vice President of an award-winning local Catholic radio station and the host of The Catholic Man Show. Adam and his best friend/co-host, David Niles, had 0 experience in the radio business before being presented with the opportunity to start a Catholic station in 2014. Taking a leap of faith, they launched St. Michael Catholic Radio and it has now grown into covering the whole Tulsa Market, airing multiple local programs, and carrying EWTN content.  Adam is married to his beautiful bride Haylee and they have 2 young boys Luke and Jude. They live in Tulsa, OK where they are active in many Catholic bible studies, church functions, apologetic groups, and Cursillo. You can follow Adam on twitter
 or like St. Michael Catholic radio on Facebook!

 

St. Martha Is Not So Very Well Understood by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Israel 807Church built at the home of Martha, Mary and Lazarus

In all actuality, I believe that Martha has been given somewhat of a “bum rap” over the ages.  Yes, in the Gospel account of Martha and Mary, Jesus does seem to chastise her some for being anxious about serving, but if you really look at what happened, and the other Gospel accounts of Martha, you see a picture of a very faith filled servant who really loved Jesus.  You can also see how much Jesus really loved her.  Martha and Mary and Lazarus, all siblings, were all loved by Jesus and it is apparent that he spent a great deal of time in their home.  John 11:5 says, “Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister Mary, and Lazarus.”  They were special to Him.  It is also interesting when the three names are listed in scripture, Martha always comes first.

Beginning in Luke 10:39, we hear how Jesus goes to the home of Martha and Mary and Lazarus and how Martha immediately begins preparations to serve him.  She was definitely being a good hostess.  In Middle Eastern culture, this is a VERY important thing.  Meanwhile, Mary just sat at the feet of Jesus and listened to him.  Now Martha became quite anxious about all that had to be done, and how Mary was not helping, and she asked Jesus to tell Mary to help in being a good hostess.  Jesus then tells Martha that she is too anxious and worried and that Mary was doing the better thing.  If you look at the wording, Jesus is saying this in a loving, albeit difficult, way.  He said this out of love for Martha.   He didn’t want her to be so caught up in worry that she forgot about Him.  We can really learn a lesson from this.  Worry and anxiety usually do little to help us in our walk with Jesus.  They usually cause us physical and emotional damages.  We need to learn how to serve Jesus, but without anxiety.

The next time we hear about Martha in the Gospels, it is apparent that she learned the lesson that Jesus was teaching.  Martha is grieving the death of her brother, Lazarus, and even though she is sitting in the house with family and guests, when she hears that Jesus is nearby, she leaves the home to meet Jesus.  Mary stays home with the guests.  When Martha meets Jesus, she shows great faith and courage.  She tells Jesus that she fully understands the great power that He has and knows that even now, He can show that power.  It is an interesting conversation that Jesus and Martha have.  Check it out in John 11: 18 plus.  In the conversation, Martha shows her strong faith and Jesus leads her along to show even stronger faith.  The faith that Martha shows leads Jesus to declare that He is The Resurrection and the Life.  He then does one of His most powerful miracles and raises Lazarus from the dead.  We too need to have the faith that Martha shows.  We too need to let Jesus help us grow in our faith so we can see the powerful miracles He does around us.

The next time we hear about Martha, Jesus has come to visit her, and Mary, and the newly risen Lazarus.  The Gospel concentrates on how Mary anoints Jesus with costly perfume, while it simply says, “Martha served”.   This implies a great peace about her service.  There is no more anxiety, but simply service.   That is our call today, to simply serve Jesus and not be anxious or worried.  Martha, very much filled with faith, is now a true servant of God.  We should ask her intercession to help us in doing that.

The name Martha is not very common today, and I think that part of the reason is that Martha has, as I said earlier, been given a “bum rap”.  I was fortunate enough to have the Lord lead me to a Martha, my wife of 47 plus years.  She is somewhat like the Martha of the Gospel in that she loves to take care of the home, cleaning often.  I never had to worry about dropping in with a friend, the house was always tidy and clean.  And, like St. Martha, my wife worries and has some anxiety.  But also, like St. Martha, she is a person of great faith and I know that I would not be where I am today, spiritually, and physically, without her.  Service and faith are a great combination.   May St. Martha always teach us that.

Freedom and Obligation – by Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, adapted by Deacon Marty McIndoe

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Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas delivered the 2016 Commencement Address at Hillsdale College this year.   I feel that he had a lot of great things to say for our current generation.  As a matter of fact, his statements are great for all generations.   Personally, I am very disappointed in many of the directions that this country and this culture are taking.  Justice Thomas is too, and shed some light on some of our difficulties and made recommendations to overcome them.  The link to his full address on the Hillsdale College website is given below if you wish to read the whole thing.   I have taken excerpts of some of the most important parts for this article.  For God and Country.

This has been a most difficult term at the Court. The difficulty is underscored by the sudden and tragic passing of my colleague and friend, Justice Antonin Scalia. I think it is fitting to say a few words about him. Many will focus on his intellect and his legal prowess. I do not demur on either count. But there is so much more than that. When I think of Justice Scalia, I think of the good man who I could instinctively trust during my first days on the Court. He was, in the tradition of the South of my youth, a man of his word, a man of character. Over the almost 25 years that we were together on the Court, I think we made it a better place for each other. I know that he did for me. He was kind to me when it mattered most. He is, and will be, sorely missed.

As the years since I attended college edge toward a half century, I feel a bit out of place talking with college students or recent graduates. So much has changed since I left college in 1971. Things that were considered firm have long since lost their vitality, and much that seemed inconceivable is now firmly or universally established. Hallmarks of my youth, such as patriotism and religion, seem more like outliers, if not afterthoughts. So in a sense, I feel woefully out of place speaking at commencement ceremonies. My words will perhaps seem somewhat vintage in character rather than current or up-to-date. In that context, I admit to being unapologetically Catholic, unapologetically patriotic, and unapologetically a constitutionalist.

In my youth, we had a small farm. I am convinced that the time I spent there had much to do with my firm resolve never to farm again. Work seemed to spring eternal, like the weeds that consumed so much of our time and efforts. One of the messages constantly conveyed in those days was our obligation to take care of the land and to use it to produce food for ourselves and for others. If there was to be independence, self-sufficiency, or freedom, then we first had to understand, accept, and discharge our responsibilities. The latter were the necessary (but not always sufficient) antecedents or precursors of the former. The only guarantee was that if you did not discharge your responsibilities, there could be no independence, no self-sufficiency, and no freedom.

In a broader context, we were obligated in our neighborhood to be good neighbors so that the neighborhood would thrive. Whether there was to be a clean, thriving neighborhood was directly connected to our efforts. So there was always, to our way of thinking, a connection between the things we valued most and our personal obligations or efforts. There could be no freedom without each of us discharging our responsibilities. When we heard the words duty, honor, and country, no more needed to be said. But that is a bygone era. Today, we rarely hear of our personal responsibilities in discussions of broad notions such as freedom or liberty. It is as though freedom and liberty exist wholly independent of anything we do, as if they are predestined.

It is all too commonly thought that we all deserve the same reward or the same status, notwithstanding the differences in our efforts or in our abilities. This is why we hear so often about what is deserved or who is entitled. By this way of thinking, the student who treats spring break like a seven-day bacchanalia is entitled to the same success as the conscientious classmate who works and studies while he plays. And isn’t this same sense of entitlement often applied today to freedom.  At the end of the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia, Benjamin Franklin was asked what the gathering had accomplished. “A republic,” he replied, “if you can keep it.” Nearly a century later, in a two-minute speech at Gettysburg, President Lincoln spoke similarly. It is for the current generation, he said, to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

So many who have gone before us have done precisely that, dedicating their lives to preserving and enhancing our nation both in war and in peace, taking care that those who have given the last full measure of devotion have not done so in vain.

America’s Founders and many successive generations believed in natural rights. To establish a government based on the consent of the governed, as the Declaration of Independence makes clear, they gave up only that portion of their rights necessary to create a limited government of the kind needed to secure all of their rights. The Founders then structured that government so that it could not jeopardize the liberty that flowed from natural rights. Even though this liberty is inherent, it is not guaranteed. Indeed, the founding documents of our country are an assertion of this liberty against the King of England—arguably the most powerful man in the world at the time—at the risk of the Founders’ lives, fortunes, and sacred honor. Over the lifespan of our great country, many occasions have arisen that required this liberty, and the form of government that ensures it, to be defended if it was to survive.

At the risk of understating what is necessary to preserve liberty and our form of government, I think more and more that it depends on good citizens discharging their daily duties and obligations.  Having been a young graduate myself, I think it is hard enough to solve your own problems, which can sometimes seem to defy solution. And in addressing your own obligations and responsibilities in the right way, you actually do an important part on behalf of liberty and free government.

I often wondered why my grandparents remained such model citizens, even when our country’s failures were so obvious. In the arrogance of my early adult life, I challenged my grandfather and doubted America’s ideals. He bluntly asked: “So, where else would you live?” Though not a lettered man, he knew that our constitutional ideals remained our best hope, and that we should work to achieve them rather than undermine them. “Son,” he said, “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.” That is, don’t discard what is precious along with what is tainted.

Today, when it seems that grievance rather than responsibility is the main means of elevation, my grandfather’s beliefs may sound odd or discordant. But he and others like him at the time resolved to conduct themselves in a way consistent with America’s ideals. They were law-abiding, hardworking, and disciplined. They discharged their responsibilities to their families and neighbors as best they could. They taught us that despite unfair treatment, we were to be good citizens and good people. If we were to have a functioning neighborhood, we first had to be good neighbors. If we were to have a good city, state, and country, we first had to be good citizens. The same went for our school and our church. We were to keep in mind the corporal works of mercy and the great commandment: “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Being wronged by others did not justify reciprocal conduct. Right was right, and two wrongs did not make a right. What we wanted to do did not define what was right—nor, I might add, did our capacious litany of wants define liberty. Rather, what was right defined what we were required to do and what we were permitted to do. It defined our duties and our responsibilities. Whether those duties meant cutting our neighbor’s lawn, visiting the sick, feeding the hungry, or going off to war as my brother did, we were to discharge them honorably.

As I admitted at the outset, I am of a different time. I knew no one, for example, who was surprised at President Kennedy’s famous exhortation in his 1961 Inaugural Address: “Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.” That sentiment was as common as saying the Pledge of Allegiance or singing the National Anthem, as pervasive as shopping at Army-Navy surplus stores. Today there is much more focus on our rights and on what we are owed, and much less on our obligations and duties—unless, of course, it is about our duty to submit to some new proposed policy.

My grandfather often reminded us that if we didn’t work, we didn’t eat, and that if we didn’t plant, we couldn’t harvest. There is always a relationship between responsibilities and benefits. In agrarian societies, that is more obvious. As society becomes more complex and specialized, it is more difficult to discern. But it is equally true. If you continue to run up charges on your credit card, at some point you reach your credit limit. If you continue to make withdrawals from your savings account, you eventually deplete your funds. Likewise, if we continue to consume the benefits of a free society without replenishing or nourishing that society, we will eventually deplete that as well.  If we are content to let others do the  work of replenishing and defending liberty while we consume the benefits, we will someday run out of other people’s willingness to sacrifice—or even out of courageous people willing to make the sacrifice.

.               As the years have moved swiftly by, I have often reflected on the important citizenship lessons of my life. For the most part, it was the unplanned array of small things. There was the kind gesture from a neighbor. There was my grandmother dividing our dinner because someone showed up unannounced. There was the stranger stopping to help us get our crops out of the field before a big storm. There were the nuns who believed in us and lived in our neighborhood. There was the librarian who brought books to Mass so that I would not be without reading on the farm. Small gestures such as these become large lessons about how to live our lives. We watched and learned what it means to be a good person, a good neighbor, a good citizen. Who will be watching you? And what will you be teaching them?

I implore you to take a few minutes to thank those who made it possible for you to come this far—your parents, your teachers, your pastor. These are the people who have shown you how to sacrifice for those you love, even when that sacrifice is not always appreciated. As you go through life, try to be a person whose actions teach others how to be better people and better citizens. Reach out to the shy person who is not so popular. Stand up for others when they’re being treated unfairly. Take the time to listen to the friend who’s having a difficult time. Do not hide your faith and your beliefs under a bushel basket, especially in this world that seems to have gone mad with political correctness. Treat others the way you would like to be treated if you stood in their shoes.

I have every faith that you will be a beacon of light for others to follow, like “a city on a hill [that] cannot be hidden.” May God bless each of you now and throughout your lives, and may God bless America.

 

Reprinted by permission from IMPRIMIS, a publication of Hillsdale College.

Link to Hillsdale College:  http://hillsdale.edu