Monthly Archives: February 2019

From Selling Abortions to Sidewalk Counseling – by Doug Johnson

Abortion, Books, Community, Family, Fatherhood, Marriage, Morality, Pro-Life, , ,

From Selling Abortions To Sidewalk Counseling – by Doug Johnson

For the entire 8 years my wife was involved with Planned Parenthood, her primary job was to sell an abortion to every pregnant woman who walked into the clinic. Even as a volunteer, Abby’s job was to make women feel safe and comfortable as they walked through the doors of Planned Parenthood for their abortion. No matter what her title was, the push was always for abortion, because that is where the money is. When she was an escort, get them in the door. When she was working the front counter, smile, tell them the protesters are nuts, and get the money. When she was in charge of community outreach, Abby was passing out condoms to coeds, giving “sex ed” talks that resulted in new customers, and doing everything she could to normalize abortion. Finally, when she became the clinic director, here’s your abortion quota, Abby!!!

Abby’s first priority and passion project when she left the abortion industry was praying outside of clinics and sidewalk counseling. It wasn’t speaking or writing a book. It wasn’t her movie or starting a ministry to help other clinic workers leave the abortion industry. All that came later. What really motivated her was the opportunity to come face to face with women and sharing the truth about abortion. To tell them what really happens behind the doors of an abortion clinic. She racked up a lot of hours in that first year. I’m not sure why, but it was well over a year before I ever even got to see her live and in action outside of a clinic. The first time I saw Abby get a save… I was in awe. I was inspired. I couldn’t have prepared for how powerful that moment would be and the impact it would have on me supporting my wife moving forward.

It was going to be a normal Saturday with my wife. We were headed to the Austin area in Texas for some reason or another. Who knows? Probably to see friends and maybe do some house hunting. Before we could get to the fun stuff, we needed to stop and drop some materials off with volunteers outside of the Whole Women’s Health in Austin. There were a couple of familiar faces outside the clinic praying, and they told Abby that they were performing abortions that day. Whelp, our leisurely day was going to have to take a pause. It was go time for Abby.

“Ok. Then we are staying until the last customer leaves.”

Now, I had zero experience in this department. I could pray, but I wasn’t about to try my hand at sidewalk counseling. I stood back by the road and watched Abby go to work. The CONFIDENCE she had to call out to everyone that walked in? I was blown away. She knew what to say, how to say it, and how to respond to anything that came her way. I mean, I have always known Abby is a bad-ass, but this was just a cool moment.

We had only been there for about 30 minutes when a couple pulled into the lot and parked right behind the fence facing the sidewalk. A woman stepped out of the passenger side and made a b-line for the building. Her head down and she was clinching her purse. My wife didn’t have an opportunity to say anything to her because just as she was scurrying off, her husband was pointing a finger at us and the first words out of his mouth where…

“You know what? You guys are assholes! You are wasting you’re time and you can’t change my mind!!” 

At first, I took this as a personal affront to my wife. How dare this dude address my wife and the other women like that?! Fortunately, I had seen my bride handle confrontation before.  Still,  I positioned myself just close enough to hear the conversation, but not close enough to escalate things. Besides, I could tell that he was only being protective of his wife. I’m sure he told his wife to hurry in while he distracted us. He didn’t actually want to get into a fight with anyone. Either way, if he was just running interference, he chose the wrong gal to wag his finger at, because it was Abby’s turn to talk.

I don’t remember any exact words. I don’t even remember if Abby started with her experiences in the abortion industry, or if she asked if that was his wife, or if she asked him why he automatically assumed that she’s an “asshole.” She may have started out asking what year his Camero was.  My memory picks up somewhere in the middle. Abby managed to keep him engaged in idle conversation and it didn’t take long for his aggressive tone to fade. I remember him saying that the woman was his wife, this wasn’t their first abortion, and that he was a professional MMA fighter. Then I remember Abby asking him about the medallions he wore around his neck. They were saints and they were given to him by his aunt. Abby asked him what his aunt would think about him being here for an abortion, and he said she would be pretty disappointed. I’ll never forget the next thing that came out of his mouth…

“I actually DON’T want her to have an abortion, but it’s up to her, right?” 

In my brain, there were thousands of voices yelling, NO!!! It is not just up to her!!! That is your wife and child in there. That is your family. If you’re a fighter, then why don’t you go in there and fight for your family. I bet she is in there waiting for you to man up and lead. Tell her you want a family. Tell her you’re committed . Just say something. Anything!! Don’t just leave her alone to figure this out.

Abby handled it much better than I would have. She asked him if he had told her about his objection to her getting an abortion. He said, no. Abby told him, “You need to share your feelings with her. She is your WIFE and this is a conversation you need to have before it’s too late. Go be her husband. She needs you.”

They didn’t say much more before he went in to talk to his wife. About an hour later, they walked out holding hands and looking very at ease. She still didn’t say anything to us, but she smiled at Abby as she got into the car. He looked like he was going to get into the car without saying anything, but he paused. He told us that they were going to lunch and they weren’t coming back. They had decided AGAINST getting an abortion. Abby just smiled and congratulated them. He nodded at us and got in the car. They drove away, and we never saw them again.

I was in such awe of what I had just seen. My wife, a woman that had spent so many years selling abortions had just saved a life. So this is what conversion and change of heart looks like. So this is what it looks like when God recruits you and you accept. You get to save lives.

On a side note: I HATE that even in an equal partnership, men feel silenced about abortion. I guess that’s why I remember this story so well. Men should have a say on the issue of abortion. Not just pro-abortion men. Not just anti-abortion men. ALL MEN!!! Maybe if we stepped up our game, women would feel more supported and never even consider abortion if they knew we were committed. I believe women should lead the conversation, but that doesn’t exclude men in their responsibilities regarding families and abortion.

Check out Doug’s blog at: https://www.dougontap.com/

One Beautiful Dream by Jennifer Fulwiler – review by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Anxiety and Worry, Book Review, Books, Church, Communication, Community, Converts, Ethics, Family, Marriage, Pro-Life, Relationships, Spirituality, Vocation, , ,

One Beautiful Dream by Jennifer Fulwiler – review by Deacon Marty McIndoe

When I heard that Jennifer Fulwiler had published a new book, I knew I had to have it and read it as soon as I could.  A few years ago, I read her book,” Something Other Than God”, and absolutely loved it.  She is a gifted writer and her second book continues to show how gifted she is.  I found it hard to put down, funny and thought provoking.  Her subtitle to this new book is The Rollicking Tale of Personal Passions, Family Chaos, and Saying Yes to Them Both.  The subtitle is a great description of her book.  It tells the story of her raising six children while trying to write a book.

For those of you who do not know Jennifer’s story, she is a former atheist whom God touched and led in to the Catholic Church.  You should read her first book “Something Other Than God” to find out this great story.  Jennifer is also a daily radio host on Sirius XM channel 129 as well as a noted speaker and columnist.  She also describes herself as “Mother of six with zero of the skills needed to manage a home”.  I would add that she is a gifted writer with an ability to describe life situations in ways that can only make you laugh, and sometimes cause you to shed a tear.

The beauty of her new book is that not only is it funny and interesting and hard to put down; it shows us all how it is possible to accomplish a sense of personal accomplishment in the midst of being a good, albeit struggling, parent.  I love what the book does for both men and women who find it hard to balance family life and work life.  It shows how you can incorporate both into personal satisfaction.  This book will definitely challenge any man or woman who puts work ahead of family.  However, it does show that a true balance can be made that will be very satisfying.

To be perfectly truthful, when I first started reading this book I thought it was mainly a book for women.  I even said that to my wife and told her that I knew she would enjoy it.  However, after reading the book for a while, I saw that it is for men and women.  Jennifer describes how her lifelong desire to write a book seemed to interfere with her sense that God was calling her to have a large family.  On many occasions her husband Joe was the needed instrument to help her learn to be able to do both.  At the same time Joe had to learn how to balance his work (and advancements) to fit in to their family life.  Personally I see Joe as a real hero in this story.  There is no doubt that Jennifer is the one who had to struggle and work so hard, but it was with Joe at her side and often encouraging her.  This book does so much to show what marriage and family life is supposed to be, even the messy parts of it.

The book also shows how Jennifer discovers that family is not just her and Joe and their six children, but extends to grandparents, great grandparents  and friends and neighbors and even to young girls ringing the door bell and running away (usually at the most inopportune times).  Jennifer learns that she can’t do everything by herself and it is then that family life begins to grow.  She learns how to involve her children in her writing career.  She also learns how to involve other family and friends in what she does.  In doing this she discovers that having a large family is a lot more than giving birth to many children.

I love how Jennifer is able to make us all laugh at some of the disheveled things that life throws at us.  I also like the way her faith comes forth without being preachy.  She shows herself in her weaknesses and in her strengths and we can’t help but to love her in both.  In an age where many couples have no children, or only one or two, this books delights us with the interactions of six children and the fulfillment they bring to their parents.  Jennifer is often confronted by friends and strangers for having such a large family.  I find this so sad.  Large families are a real gift that society doesn’t seem to appreciate any more.  Jennifer and Joe wanted a large family and God gave them one.  Jennifer and Joe use Natural Family Planning and Jennifer does a great job sharing how NFP has been a positive influence on their marriage.  This book certainly shows us how two people, working together in the gift of marriage, can find both personal fulfillment and family fulfillment.   There is no doubt that this is a book that I would highly recommend reading.  It is printed by Zondervan.  I bought my copy on Amazon Prime.

POWER – by A.J. Avila

Books, Church, Holiness, Holy Orders, Prayer, Relationships, Saints, Service, Spirituality

Recently my husband came home from a Friends of the Library sale. My city library sells donated books every few months, and you pay only a measly two dollars for whatever you can stuff inside a paper grocery bag. The money goes toward buying new books for the library, essential when our city has slashed the new book budget to zero.

In my husband’s bag was a book he thought I might like because it’s about Catholicism. On the back cover are quotations from many prominent Catholics—that is, Catholics who are prominent in a worldly sort of way, such as politicians and actors. One quotation struck me immediately. I’m not going to mention who said it, but it read “When my mom asked if I wanted to be a nun, I said I’d rather be a priest . . . The nuns were always wonderful, but the power was with the priest.”

When I see something like that, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I did, however, read it aloud to my husband, and he burst into laughter. So maybe mirth is the more appropriate response to something so ridiculous.

If you think priests have a lot of power, read that quote to your local parish priest and see what his reaction is.

I guess the woman who said it had no idea what she was talking about. Does she not know why Catholic priests wear Roman collars? It’s because the collar is a symbol of slavery.

That’s right: Roman Catholic priests are slaves.

That is, they are slaves of Christ.

Ironically, that is where power—in a supernatural sense—resides, but since this woman is a politician, she seemed to be talking about worldly power.

If I had the opportunity, I would ask her who she thought had more worldly power: her parish priest or Mother Teresa. After all, Mother Teresa won the Nobel Peace Prize. She addressed the United Nations.

When’s the last time your parish priest did that?

Besides, worldly power means nothing to God, except in how it is wielded.

True power comes from conforming to God’s will, and you don’t have to be a priest to do that.

I got into this a bit in my novel Nearer the Dawn. A man who has turned away from his atheism to make an act of faith lies prone in adoration on a mountainside when he encounters God:

Here, with his nose in the dirt, he had never felt so elevated. Before, he had considered the walls of a church those of a prison or insane asylum. Now he realized the barriers he had seen were of his own construction, designed to keep him banished outside rather than let him in. At last here was Everything he had been searching for, Everything he was created for, the fulfillment of his hunger. This was not only the destination but the road that led everywhere, the key that opened all treasures. Here was the ecstasy that eternally satisfied that longing desire not only to be loved but to love fully and completely. And here was true freedom, for only by binding himself with the One he was free to be transformed, crowned with glory. No wonder he had never been able to do it alone. Relying on his own capabilities was like trying to operate on a single ohm, but now he was plugged into a Power Source mightier than all the suns of the universe, for here life overflowed with more abundance than he had thought possible.

Being a priest is wonderful, but it is God who crowns us with power and glory. The power, in other words, comes by being a saint.