Monthly Archives: July 2018

Embracing Death: The Ultimate Act of Faith and Trust – by Deacon Marty McIndoe

Death and Dying, Family, Prayer, Relationships

Death is something that all of us must face some day. It is not an option. It is something that we all have in common, no matter what our station is in life. In my 38 years of diaconal ministry I have ministered to many who are close to death. Some people are fearful of death and try to avoid it no matter what the cost. Others seem to welcome it and even embrace it. I hope that when my time comes, I too will be able to welcome it and embrace it. It seems that when we have lived a life of faith and especially of trust in Jesus, we naturally can welcome and embrace death for it is our ultimate act of faith and trust.
A couple of weeks ago a close friend of mine called me and told me that one of his very good friends, Peter (not his real name) was near death. My friend told me of how close he was to Peter and how this man had helped him in his faith journey and even in meeting his wife. Now Peter was dying from cancer and had some questions about the death process. My friend asked me to come with him to visit Peter and hopefully answer his questions. I, of course, said yes and went with him that day. When I went to this dying man’s home, I was greeted by his wife and grown children. They were there to support him. As soon as I went in to Peter’s room, I could tell that he was weak and probably would die fairly soon. The cancer had taken all of the strength out of him, but his mind functioned very well. The first thing that we did was to pray for a moment. He then asked me how long this process of dying would take and what to expect. I had the sense that he had hoped the time would be short, but that he was also unsure of the process of dying.
Now I knew from my friend that Peter was a man of faith. He was a good Catholic that had attended things like Christian Awakening weekends and Charismatic prayer meetings. My friend told me that Peter had invited him to a Christian Awakening weekend many years ago and it was at that weekend that my friend met his future wife and also met Jesus in a new and real way. That weekend was instrumental in making my friend in to the good Catholic man that he is today, thanks to the Peter’s invitation. Peter’s faith had carried him through many difficulties in life. Now, his faith and trust in Jesus had to carry him through the death process.
Since Peter’s first question was how long it would take for him to die, I answered him by telling him that none of us can really know. Doctors can give estimates during fatal illnesses, but these are at best only an estimate. I told him that the timing was in God’s hands, BUT, in my many years of ministering to the dying, I found that those who had told their families and had told God that they were ready to die seemed to die quickly. This man seemed very happy to hear that. I then went through with him our Catholic teaching on death and what awaits us (for further information see my previous article by clicking the link below). The dying man seemed to find peace in what I said. I then told him that if he were ready to die, he should first tell his family members who gathered around him and then tell God that he was ready. Peter put a small smile on his face. We then all prayed together around him, including a Hail Mary. I told him that I would stop by again in two days.
The next day my friend called me to tell me that his friend had died, in peace. I truly believe that he had made peace with his family and had told God that he was ready. I know in my heart that this man had accepted, and even embraced and welcomed death. His struggles with cancer were now over and he was in the arms of God’s love and mercy. Death is hard on those who are left behind. My friend is a really great man and strong in his faith but I knew that this death was hard on him. I do see how God helped my friend in this. The day that Peter died, my friend was out on a long bicycle trip with another friend that we have in common. Because both of them have difficult schedules, this day trip was planned about two months before. My friend received the call of Peter’s death in the middle of the bicycle trip. Fortunately our other friend was with him and this helped tremendously. He too is a man of faith and a good Catholic. The beauty of the weather and their journey through a park and along the ocean brought comfort to my friend. Plus he had a good friend, a man of God with him. God put all of this together.
My friend was asked to do the eulogy and was a little nervous about it. He took a day to work on it and the next day I called him and asked him out to breakfast. I knew that his wife was away on retreat that weekend and that he was all alone. We had a great breakfast and talked a lot about the deceased. I then went with him over to his house to listen to the eulogy that he had written. He did a great job on the eulogy and was thankful to me for spending the time with him that day. It helped bring him strength and comfort. My friend knew the power of God working through the friends that he had. It truly helped him with this difficult time and made him strong enough to deliver a great eulogy.
Death is difficult on all who go through it. However faith in our Lord and the ability to trust in him (I love the Divine Mercy picture of Jesus that tell us JESUS, I TRUST IN YOU) can bring us true freedom where we can accept and embrace and welcome death when it is our time. It also gives us the ability to deal with loss when a loved one dies. God is so good. He is the God of LIFE and peace and comfort and strength.

For a previous article on death and dying see:   http://deaconmarty.com/lord-of-the-dead-by-deacon-marty-mcindoe/

Tepidity by A.J. Avila

Anxiety and Worry, Evangelism, Healing, Holy Spirit, Prayer, Purgatory, Relationships, Sacraments, Scripture, Spirituality

There’s a show on television called Air Disasters, and some time ago they ran a segment on the September 25, 1978 PSA crash in San Diego.
I remember that day very well. Like everybody else, I saw the news coverage on television. On approach to the airport, the PSA jet had collided with a Cessna flying in the area. The jet’s right wing caught on fire, and both planes crashed. Everyone on the planes, along with seven people on the ground, perished.
[SIDENOTE: The photo above is of the actual plane going down. The collision was so loud it was heard on the ground, and a photographer aimed his camera upward and took that picture.]
But what I didn’t know, until my sister phoned me, was that a friend of mine had been on board the PSA jet. He was only 26 and was on his way to San Diego to open a photography studio.
I debated whether or not to record the Air Disasters show. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what my friend went through those last terrifying seconds of his life. After I did record it, it sat in my DVR a couple of days before I got up the courage to watch it.
A lot of things, I saw, went wrong that day. I discovered several factors had contributed to the crash. For example, an imminent collision alarm had gone off in the control tower but was ignored because the alarm had been sounding when there was no problem. The PSA pilot had seen the Cessna but then had lowered his seat, which took it out of his line of vision. The Cessna was flown by a student pilot who was learning to operate by instruments only, and so he was wearing a helmet that allowed him to see nothing but the control panel. And for some inexplicable reason, he had changed course. The radio transmission from the PSA pilot was a bit garbled, but it sounded to the air traffic controller like the pilot had said he had already flown past the Cessna. The combination of these incidents led to a terrible disaster.
Something else went wrong that day, horribly wrong. It wasn’t something that caused the crash. It was something that happened after the crash, or rather, something that didn’t happen after the crash. As ashamed as I am to admit it, not once did it occur to me to pray for the soul of my friend.
I had been raised Catholic, attended Catholic elementary school, and in fact was teaching in a Catholic high school at the time. I knew about Purgatory. I knew how important it is to pray for our deceased friends and relatives.
Why, oh why did it not occur to me to pray for my friend? You’d think all the news coverage, including a photo of the plane going down, wing afire, on the cover of Life magazine, (yes, that picture above is the one) would be enough to kick-start me into a rosary, at least. Yet somehow, it wasn’t. Why not?
Well, I’ll tell you why. That is what happens when you become a tepid Catholic.
If you’d asked me back then, I would have told you I was a great Catholic. I put in my hour at Mass every Sunday. I put money into the collection basket. Hey, I even taught in a Catholic school!
Yet the rest of the time I pretty much ignored God, except, of course, when I wanted a personal favor. My rosary was packed away in a drawer. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been to Confession.
In Luke 17:10 Jesus has some harsh words for those who do the bare minimum, calling them unworthy servants. In Revelation 3:16, He even states that He spits lukewarm souls out of his mouth. (The Douay-Rheims version uses the word “vomits” instead of “spits.”)
I thank God that He eventually wacked me over the head with a spiritual 2 x 4, and I finally came to my senses. Prayers and Masses were offered for my friend and other souls for whom I should have pleaded.
I don’t know if such things work retroactively. But, if my prayers were too late for my friend, I am certain they were applied to other members of the Church Suffering.
Let’s not forget those who have passed on before us. “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.” (Matthew 5:7) And let’s be useful, not worthless, servants who live our faith daily through prayer and sacrifice.

The original post can be found at:  Reflections On My Catholic Journey